Vagabond's Flying Adventures - The Bebe

“Where’s Pilot Officer Vagabond”, the raucous voice of the C.O. woke me from my sleep and I was 100 yds away from his office at the time. Honey said “I think he’s sleeping, over behind the haystack” no need to get excited, that’s James Honey and one of our most fearsome fighter pilots, not a man to cross – especially if it’s a Maltese cross.

“What screamed the C.O. we’ve just had a flight of Huns over the airdrome bombing the s**t out of us and you tell me he slept through it!!!”

There’s times I think that the skipper has seen a bit too much action and he gets a bit overwrought. Basically he’s sound but just now and then there are more raw nerves showing than snowflakes in the artic in wintertime.

I’m Pilot Officer Vagabond R.F.C. and I’m feeling a bit of a veteran out here at the front, if you survive 3 weeks on dawn patrols then you start to feel a bit invincible.

The C.O. was striding towards my haystack, I could hear his footfall and decided laying on my back with sleep in my eyes was not going to improve our relationship so I jumped up and brushed most of the straw off my flying jacket.

“Good afternoon Pilot Officer”, oh no I’m in deep s**t now, he never addresses anyone by their rank unless they are dead, or about to be. “How’s your gunner, the man you refer to colloquially as Dipstick”. “Err I think you might have misheard” I say, thinking at the time my God shut up – you don’t correct the C.O. – not when he’s in full flow. “I believe he’s in the field hospital” he says, “when do you think he might be back in the saddle, but just remind me, when he was wounded in the line of duty what action were you in, I don’t remember”. “Umm – well it wasn’t actually action sir, he stepped on the gardeners rake and it sprang up and hit him in the eye. But he should be out of hospital soon. Was their some mission you wanted us to undertake when he’s out?”

“What do you mean when he’s out!!!” Upps this doesn’t sound good. “No” he says “I’m looking for a volunteer to go and have a look at some bridges the bomber boys say they have destroyed. The Brass would like to make to make sure that they are really blown”. “That sounds like you need a full crew for the Bristol” I stammered, “would you like me to find a gunner”. “No that’s fine” he says, rather slyly I think, “you know you’ve always been saying how you respected the early pilots, the ones flying the older machines – well we have a French Nieuport 11 available, just thought that might be what you were thinking of”.


My God, flying a Bebe, whow yes that would be great, but not over the lines not against current German planes, the thing is a year out of date and a year outclassed. “It doesn’t seem such a good idea I responded weakly”. “Nonsense man” he says, “it’s all fuelled up and ready to go, see the Adjutant for the maps and dispositions and I’ll see you back here for the evening meal. We have some very nice Chateau Lafite to go with the steak – so don’t be late”.
“No sir”.

Well here I am, across the lines, a long way into Hun territory looking for 2 damn bridges that shouldn’t be there. The French Pilots nicknamed the Nieuport 11 the Bebe (with accents that I don't have on this laptop). The Bebe is flying really nicely, very responsive – not fast but I’m starting to enjoy myself when I see 3 black specs in the distance. Well they could be British planes returning from a mission, they could be very big sparrows, flying in formation but really there’s only one thing they can be – Boshe.

The cold lump in the pit of my stomach gets bigger – and colder.

OK – so my mission is fly very close to 2 bridges and get back home with the knowledge that they are either gone – or not. Don’t get shot down and ideally shoot someone else down but it’s not mandatory. Simple really.

Of course the main reason for posting the game is to show off my new mat, made by that well known mat making firm of Vagabond and Vagabond of Bond Street. Yep, Mrs V gave me a hand painting this, I am determined to get her interested in playing with small plastic aeroplanes.

Behind them I can see the river where the bridges shouldn’t be – of course that’s if my navigation is on top form. This will be a first if it is.

OK 3 of them in a line, what was it that Honey said – I remember - try and cut the odds, so I pull to starboard, hoping they will all pile into each other and just fall out of the sky, well I remember it being a good thought at the time.

It seemed to work for 2 of them but the Green Albatros anticipated my move and turned towards me.

You can just see the 2 bridges, one just by the port wing tip of the Blue Albatros and 1 just hidden by the tail of the Red Albatros.

By heck – he’s getting close, I’m not going to make it past him.

So I turn in and attack head on. This is not a good idea, but it’s the only one I had. I have a weak old plane and he doesn’t.
It doesn’t get any better, we both open fire and my single gun jams, he has two guns but fortunately he misses.

His mates belatedly turn and follow him.

I slip past him. A quite close slip, but we didn’t collide. Mid air collisions can be disastrous and the main reason we didn't collide is because I don't have the advanced rules printed out and so am not using them.

For no good reason Blue has turned to port and I could blow him apart (maybe) but of course I’m still un-jamming my guns.

And can’t fire.

I’m following him round, but still beating the guns trying to un-free them. The red Albatros is getting very close, he has stalled and then does a left sideslip, a perfect manoeuvre. Well if you are a Hun that is. He opens fire and bullets phutt through the canvas of my plane.

I need to turn to starboard to get to the bridge but Red damages my rudder and I can’t turn that way but thinking like a rabbit in the head lights, I do the only thing possible and swing to port.

That fooled them, I turn inside Red , Green is miles away and going the wrong way, Blue seems to be a rookie and is also flying the wrong way. This might just work.

I get the damn gun unjammed but of course by now there is no one to shoot. I’m on the way to the 2nd bridge and there’s no one in the way. It’s looking good.

I can see that the bridge is still intact. The bomber boys have failed here.

So I pull a tight turn to starboard.

Good grief these Albatros move fast, Blue would have been all over me but I’m no longer there, I’m headed for the other bridge to see if that’s still there.

Looks like the bridge is half way between me and the Red Albatros.

We both fly cannily, he stalls, I side slip as we counter each other but finally, to avoid stalling and falling out of the sky we have to open the throttle and fly straight at each other. I can’t pay too much attention to the Albatros because if I do I might not see the bridge as I pass, so I stop worrying about getting shot down (maybe) and concentrate on the bridge.

The Blue plane mean time does a sharp turn to starboard, well as sharp as a DIII can go, if he continues like that he will be on my tail. One behind and one in front and me in the middle like the proverbial Nieuport in trouble, but his inexperience shows and he straightens up and flies past my tail. Jolly good show old boy.

Guns blazing Red and I go for the jugular.

My rudder goes slack, damn he’s cut something, I can’t turn to port but that’s sort of OK because I don’t want to. I don’t appear to have done any damage to him. Blast and damnation.

We fly past each other at 200 miles an hour, Phew - that was close, I can see that this bridge is also intact, good grief, can’t these Bomber Boys hit anything. I turn to starboard and home. I’ve got a good position all the Alabatrii are going the wrong way, I think.

Apart from that Green one, he’s coming in straight at me, he’s fast and has a good line to get a shot in before I’m past.

See what I mean. If he turns to starboard I’m dead! He gets off a long shot but does no damage and his guns go silent prematurely. Ha – guns jammed.

I can’t afford to take too much damage my crate is fairly fragile and I can’t stop and fight because there’s too many of them and I’ve achieved my objective and need to get the information back. You can see where this is going – I’m persuading my self to run.

I risk turning into my starboard to try and cut the angle but he jinks left and then right and overshoots me by a mile. I can see over my shoulder Blue and Red in such close formation that you couldn’t get a spanner between them and they are coming after me. I know they can go faster and it’s a long way to my side of the lines, but I’m running free and easy with a bit of space between us.

Formation flying the Hun way, perfect alignment. How does the A.I. do that – amazing. I am as usual playing solo and the solo rules fly the planes, they are still better than I am. :(

However they must have orders to protect the bridges and pull back and let me go.

It was a bit of a hairy ride back, I’d lost so much height in the fight that Archie made a damn pincushion of my poor old kite but we got back safely in the end.
My report to the skipper went better than I thought it would, he didn’t have much time for the Bomber Boys either, expected them to have missed and I sort of got the impression I might have been his most expendable pilot sent on a waste of time mission, but maybe I’m being a bit harsh on myself, and him.

Anyway I took Dipstick a bunch of flowers and a bottle of whiskey a told him that it was imperative he get back to the squadron - now.

I expounded on the virtues of that beautiful, fast Bristol, with all round firepower all those Huns waiting to be shot down but didn’t mention getting lumbered with a slow, out of date plane, with a single gun which at this point in the war was going to get me killed.

Mind you I did enjoy flying it.

My apologies that no one got shot down, there were no flames or anything really exciting, this was the 2nd time I tried the mission and there were flames and someone did get shot down – but it was me, and that can’t be a good story!

I was hoping to post the next part of the Hunt for Mary Scroggins but just not had time to put it together, damn summer, all these outside jobs that I can do now there's no rain to keep me inside enjoying myself.

Well if you're still here - thanks for reading.
Cheers