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Friday 14 September 2018

Palaeo Diet – The Interlopers and DevLAM the Meeting

The year was growing older and the climate was getting colder so the Shell Clan were making their annual journey south to follow the sun, a ritual we still follow today. I guess if they had learned to sew, they could have made a better fist of clothing themselves to keep warm and saved on the leg miles.

The previous two stories showing the exploits of the Shell Clan are Here Game 1 and Here Game 2

It was late in the day and they were searching for somewhere safe to stay the night, when they came upon another group of upright bipeds, similar to themselves, but also quite different.

In game terms I treated the pygmies as pack predators so that the A.I. system would work.

The Shell Clan has adopted what was becoming their usual formation when facing danger, the females with the slings on the outside of the line and the men with the brawn and better close quarters weapons in the centre. The one thing they seem to have learned from the 1st encounter with the Grazers is to stick together when faced with danger.

Luana fails an activation but the Pygmies remain calm, watching to see what these strangely coloured people will do. She lopes forward and this also elicits no aggressive response. She then did what most peoples do when faced with an unknown race or culture. She tried to kill it.

Her sling shot was deadly accurate and she caused 2 wounds on Agume, he promptly dropped down dead.

The little guys were obviously not expecting this and two of them took to their heels and ran away. One is made of sterner stuff and moves forward to attack Luana.

Zanga the brave has moved close to Luana but could not make contact and then when Ayah makes her move towards him he responds by running away to join the rest of his tribe. Tohana and Kee’Ak move up along side the females.

A quick shot showing the poor Pygmies all in flight from these aggressive incomers.

The Pygmies have reacted to the hunters with Zanga going back onto the attack and you can see here he has been shot dead, again by Luana. To do this she rolls a 6 to hit and then a further 5 to hit again, causing 2 wounds which is a kill. Twice in 2 turns she has rolled a 6 followed by a 5, what a woman.

Tohana now runs forward and in a ferocious fight bashes the little fellows brains out with that dam big axe of his. He didn’t have it all his own way and took a blow to the head wounding him sorely.

The last man standing decides to leave before something nasty happens to him. Maybe he has friends nearby?

Another successful encounter for the Shell Clan.

Ayah’s leg has now healed and she can move normally.

Tohana suffered a blow to the head this leaves him slightly deaf and he ceases to be alert.

Kee’Ak no change and is still Alert.

Luana with her accurate shooting gains a trait and with a good die roll becomes a Hunter.

They also gain 6 bulk of food. Although I’m not too sure of the ethics of this decision on my part, but hey ho - it's only a game ;-)

DevLAM

You may have noticed the post on my Blog list from The Mad Lord Snapcase entitled Much-Piddling Naval Visitors and relating to Devlam 18.

Well - a year ago I was enjoying the late summer down in the south of France, staying with the Rothschild’s in their villa on Cap Ferrat when I received this telegram.

What ho Vagabond, what are you doing on the Bonfire night weekend, burning that bounder Fawkes or are you still enjoying the gaming tables on the Cote D’Azure STOP I am thinking of having a couple of chums around to the old pile and conducting a refined weekend of Wargaming STOP What do you think STOP The old Gal, Lady Snapcase is visiting relatives and we will have the place to ourselves STOP Sir Douglas is coming with something called Luke Warm Grave, doesn’t have a snowy table he says, well which of us do at this time of year STOP I shall be doing Pulp Alley, Gothic Horror don’t you know STOP You can bring that Mabel Street Mob lot down if they can get exit visas from the States STOP Reply soonest STOP

When I told the Rothschild’s that I would be leaving on the next boat train to London and then driving down to deepest darkest Devon the following day they were bitterly disappointed, as you would expect but they quite understood that the chance to wargame in the sanctity of Snapcase Hall was an offer no insane sane man would refuse.

The weekend went well, Lord Snapcase was a most attentive host and even had the local Constable stop the traffic in the main street outside the Hall, just so I could more easily get my Austin 7 between the gate pillars and up the long tree lined drive, to park in the stable yard round the back of the main house.

Sir Douglas and I arrived promptly at the designated time, his racing green Bentley cut quite a dash in the village, it’s a shame the aged braking system couldn't cope with the nasty turn by the duck pond, but we had him out of there in two shakes of a lambs tail. What’s a bit of water to a man on his calibre.

We had a quick tour of the ancestral home, the oldest, central section 1650’s I believe and both the east and west wings, it only took a couple of hours, obviously avoiding the servants quarters, kitchens and other less interesting rooms.

Of note was the 2nd Library, the one with all the historical and military books, 1st editions most of them, smaller than the main Library but indubitably more interesting.

The gun room collection has more Brown Bess muskets than the Royal Armouries, and the best selection of 17C German Sporting guns I have ever seen, including the Baron Munchausen’s collection in Bavaria. There were antique firearms through to light machine guns from the 2nd WW, as well as a nice collection of American revolvers and Carbines from the 19C. The shooting range took up the length of the 2nd floor of the West wing, probably only 100yds long but impressive all the same.

The heavy machine guns and artillery were apparently in storage a few miles away on the estate and we did not have the time to visit, mores the pity.

The painting and modelling room was a picture of efficiency and industry, indeed the three fellows and one young gal were painting a hard and as fast as they could, quality control was excellent although his Lordship gave them quite a wigging over the eyes, they looked good to me but to a perfectionist like Snappy they were just not up to snuff. Figures were going on to a conveyer belt down to the far end of the room where the bases were attended to, then straight onto the racks in the purpose built computer controlled storage facility which took up most of one floor in the East Wing.

This man does not have a lead mountain, it’s more like the Himalayas.

The games were played out in the main Dining Room of Snapcase Hall, where there was more space than in the Games Room or the rather cramped 30’ x 30’ Billiard Room. The dining table probably seats 40 but I could never count all the chairs, there was so much else going on. Royalty has eaten there, although I believe they were aghast at the size of the Bill the 3rd Lord presented them with and I don't believe they ever returned.

Old Scrotum - Snappy’s aged but wrinkly retainer plied us with food and alcohol at regular intervals during the two and a half days we were ensconced there, games started promptly at when ever we could get ourselves up and went on to the early hours of the morning.

There are some scurrilous rumours about the amount of alcohol drunk and a photograph appeared in the local paper purporting to show one nights consumption, if I can get a copy I will post it here so you can see for yourselves how they exaggerated. No three men could possibly drink that amount, although to be fair the under maid did reveal to me that the staff had to commandeer the local undertaker and his hearse to keep up with the flow of bottles from the room.

On Saturday night the uniformed Chauffeur drove us down to the local hostelry in the lime green Roller, the local peasantry doffed their caps as we drove by. The whole Restaurant had been taken over by Lord Snapcase and all the riff raff, who were standing outside in the pouring rain, could do was gaze longingly through the window at their local Lord and Master. The menu had been prepared especially for us, the suckling pig was excellent, although the quails eggs I thought were a little over done, but all in all, a splendid meal, Missis Miggins deserves her 3 stars.

As we were leaving there was some discussion about Manorial rights with the local peasants. Apparently it is still customary in this part of Devon that prior to their wedding night … virgins…. marriage… Lord of the Manor…. It all got a bit complicated but Lord Snapcase seemed happy with the way the discussions went.

Well the reason for all this reminiscing is that I have been invited down to deepest darkest Devon again this coming November. An invitation I am a little surprised at, he obviously hasn't missed the family silver yet, nor the lime green Rolls Royce, although there were a lot of cars in the stable block 3 or 4 Rollers, a couple of Bentley's and too many of those fancy foreign cars to shake a big stick at, so I've probably got away with it.

I want to post up some of the games we played last year before this coming crop make me forget them, or maybe the alcohol will do that, there were some reports circulated at the time but they were written by unreliable sources and I believe I should make sure that the truthful accounts are reported here, sooner rather than later.

Well if you are still here - thanks for reading and your thoughts and comments "make my day"

"Punk" :)

Cheers

15 comments:

  1. I had to wait awhile after reading to give myself time to stop laughing John :) the turning cannibal is not something I really hold with but winter is coming, I look forward to your up coming AAR's from both your last trip to Devon & the up coming one, will you be heading down in the Roller ? ;)

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    1. Frank sometimes you need to get your protein as and when you can;)

      Regarding the Roller, I have bought a few spray cans from Halfords and I will probably be going down in a primer grey Roller, but I don't believe I can afford enough cans to cover the whole thing - it is a bloody big car after all, so it might be two tone, lime green and primer grey. I don't think he will recognise it though!

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  2. Great battle report John, the shell clan are on a roll. A very interesting report of your visit and look forward to reading the reports of last year and then this years

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    1. Thanks Dave it was a little hazy last year, there were a lot of photos of games that only looked vaguely familiar, trying to sort out a game report was a little difficult at times.

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  3. Yet another cracking good batrep featuring the Shell Clan. I was so glad to see Luana do so well, as I am very fond of her. Good news for Ayah getting back to full health. All in all, this was a great result for the Shell Clan.

    The DevLAM stuff sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun. I look forward to reading it all.

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    1. Thanks Bryan, the game was only a short one, but fun all the same.

      I think it's quite good news that between the Shell and Rock Clan after six games everyone is still alive and kicking.

      DevLAM is the only live gaming I've had in three years, so I'm looking forward to it this year.
      Cheers

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  4. I love the Clam Gang's exploits.

    DevLam - must have missed the memo!

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    1. Cheers Joe.

      Were you not on the circulation list!?

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  5. Brilliant stuff John! This Snapcase fellow and especially the manor seem fascinating, looking forward to seeing some photos 🙂

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    1. Ivor - you will have heard of James Bond 007 well the Mad Lord Snapcase was his controller back in the cold war days and so most of the events that take place in Snapcase Hall are covered by the official secrets act. Similarly you will have heard of Q the Quartermaster and his tricks of the trade, the exploding fountain pen, the ejector seat in the Aston Martin well most of these were developed in the underground bunkers below Snapcase Hall. I believe the only reason the Russian Bots have started probing my blog is because of this tenuous connection to Snapcase Hall.
      I can't say too much or you will next hear of me in the Tower of London and I don't think the WiFi connection is fast there.

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  6. Well it sounds like there is to be another round of debauchery at Much-Piddling Manor. You are sorely lacking diversity and non-Western point of view. I strongly urge you to include Fu of the International Celestial Empire, namely me ;) I have done nothing but improved the entire gaming situation with the League of Extraordinary Kriegspielers. They no longer curse each other nearly as much as they used to and their level of paranoia has nearly doubled! That is not an easy task with that bunch of hardened Degenerates. Think what Fu could do for you!

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  7. I'm sure we could get Biggles and some of his chums to fly you none stop on the wing of one of their Sopwith Camels, they could do it in relays. Would you prefer to go over the Artic or round the Equator, the later would be longer but probably warmer.

    Maybe the Mad Lord could get one of his flunkies to divert a submarine to pick you up in some clandestine meeting off the coast, or maybe you have a favour owing from the US Navy and you could travel 1st class in a Capital Ship.

    It would be great to meet the indomitable Fu in person, so to speak.

    Cheers Lon, good to hear from you. :)

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  8. Excellent stuff.
    I'm painting my own little Paleo Diet warband and look forward to bashing some dino-heads. Maybe other humanish heads also.

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    1. I know and am looking forward to it, I'm hoping your reports are going to be similar to your PA ones. :)

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  9. DevLAM '17 sounds exactly as I remember it (although I don't remember much, possibly too many of the stiffening libations prepared by Old Scrotum). Keep the Roller, old sport, with my blessing. I believe the chauffeur, Young Futtock has 17 of the buggers tucked away somewhere on the estate, don't you know! Only 5 weeks to go to DevLAM '18 and you're just about to recount last year's games?

    Had the Gatling Gun out on the ornamental lawn the other day and bagged quite a few peasants as they went about their business. Bloody nuisance, the lot of them. Vicar talks a lot of stuff and nonsense about the sanctity of human life, well, tally-ho I say and bugger that for a game of soldiers!

    Looking forward to greeting you at Snapcase Hall with a welcoming cocktail soon, old bean.

    Toodle-pip for now,
    Snapcase

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