For those of you who are of a curious nature I will attempt to explain some of this but I’m sure my account will leave out a substantial amount of information, falling well short of a clear and concise explanation.
You may be forgiven for thinking it’s a deliberate ploy that may possibly lead to future rather rambling stories such as this one.
The expedition, led by Nigel Barrington the 9th Earl of Stratton had followed the river into the land of the Yik Yak, he was searching for the elusive Black Butterfly. Barrington was an Anthropological Ethnologist by training but his passionate hobby concerned Lepidopterology and he knew the capture of the Black Butterfly would place his name in the pantheon of Entomologists along with such luminaries as Fabre, Bates and Wheeler.
You may remember the crocodile sunbathing on the sand bank in the middle of the river, well he’d never heard of Fabre, Bates and Wheeler but he recognised food when he saw it and slide into the river without a splash. Submerged with just his eyes visible above the water he made his way towards his quarry with barely a ripple showing on the water.
Fast as lightening he emerged from the river, jaws agape he grabbed for Private Jimmy Shaw. Jimmy didn’t have time to run, indeed he didn’t have the inclination to run, Jimmy was a brave but rather unimaginative product of the East End of London and that really was his undoing.
There was a blood stain and nothing else to show where Jimmy had made his last stand.
Surprising me and probably themselves, the hired Porters stamped their feet and raised a hullabaloo to drive the crocodile back into the water. Apart from a little splashing as Jimmy flailed away, the water went still, as the breath left his body and the croc tucked it away for future consumption.
Stoic as ever the Porters caught up with the rest of the expedition and if anyone mentioned it there’s no record of the event in Nigel Barrington's diary.
Meanwhile to the south west Rittmeister Friedrich Wilhelm von Seydlitz, lead’s his Halbstaffel of the Prussian Rapid Air Service at tree top height over the jungle canopy. Their job is quite simple, at least that’s how von Seydlitz described it to his men, their reception of this hasn’t passed down into the history books but simple might not have been how they would have described it.
There were rumours of a large Primate in the area and he had been tasked with its capture for the Zoologischer Garten Berlin or as we might call it, the Berlin Zoological Garden. No one was sure how big this Primate might be, or how they might be able to transport it through the dense jungle but Friedrich Wilhelm was a resourceful young man and it was assumed he would find a way.
As you can see I’m using plastic tot glasses as stands, I thought these would be inconspicuous but the photographs shows how mistaken I was. If anyone can suggest a better arrangement I would greatly appreciate it. I still want them to be able to stand on the ground as well as appear to fly so it’s a bit tricky.
To the South East, Ensign James Cameron of the 4th section, 1st Company of the 42nd (Royal Highland) Regiment of Foot, informally known as the Black Watch led the way forward. He would have dearly loved to command his Piper, young Alasdair MacCrimmon, who had trained at Boreraig on Skye, the Piping School set up by his great ancestor around 1670, to play a ceòl mòr (the great music or pibroch as we Sassenachs know it) but he didn’t want to alert the enemy.
Vague rumours of native unrest had reached the ears of the Spy Master General in the British Embassy and Cameron had been despatched to verify or disprove these rumours, but more especially to find out what might be causing the unrest if they were true.
As the nephew of the Regimental Commanding Officer of the 42nd he was in a privileged position but this was his first independent command and that weighed heavily on his young shoulders. He worried about how he should advance, he worried about the porters, they looked to be a shifty lot. The only thing he didn’t worry about was his flotilla of boats. He’d left Corporal MacIntosh behind with strict instructions to guard the boats with his life. MacIntosh looked duly impressed with the responsibility but had no intention of obeying his orders, if indeed his life was required to comply with them.
Nancy Black had been hired as scout and guide by Nigel Barrington, she had been highly recommended to him and so far had done a sterling job. She’d negotiated a high rate of pay and was very pleased with how the expedition was progressing.
Very pleased until, leading the column she stepped out of the thick jungle and espied on a low hill a blonde woman tied to two stakes set vertically in the ground.
The young woman looked relieved and with a beseeching look, uttered the fateful word, “Help” There was a slight quaver in her voice but Nancy recognised a kindred spirit, a woman not afraid to make her own way in the world. At a glance she assesses the situation and fired her big hunting rifle from the hip. She didn’t expect to hit either of the two natives guarding the young woman, indeed she would be ashamed to have done so, they were only armed with bows and arrows and although she’d never played cricket she understood the ethos.
The female guard ducked back behind the gruesome idol but the male stood his ground, pulled the bow string taut and let fly. The arrow clipped Nancy Black’s hat, glanced off her shapely skull and disappeared into the undergrowth leaving Nancy stunned. By heck, they’re shooting back, “that’s not cricket” was her immediate thought, followed quickly by “bugger me, that was a close call” followed by, “blast them, that’s my best hat”
The sound of the heavy rifle echoed through the jungle. Ensign Cameron, paused, held his hand up to halt his men and listened intently, trying vainly to ascertain the direction the shot had come from. He was sure it was off to the right of where he expected the native village to be. He was tasked with reaching the village but the rifle fire should be investigated. What should he do?
He thought for a few minutes and did nothing.
Not so von Seydlitz, he’d already commenced a left turn and discovered the village right in front of him. Behind him he hears a gruff and at the same time slightly hysterical voice shout “Going down” Followed shortly by a euphoric “Down” as the trooper landed safely. His clockwork motor had run it’s course and a quick inspection indicates it will take 4 game turns to wind it back up to full power.
Seeing 5 men of the Prussian Rapid Air Service flying over the tree tops would give a body quite a fright, especially when one disappeared earthward.
Reactions in the village were varied, the Missionary maybe clutched his book a little tighter but otherwise remained ramrod straight showing no other outward signs of concern.
The same can not be said for the natives, some started running for cover, a most sensible option, some remained transfixed, not such a good option and one young female archer let fly an arrow in the direction of Airman First Class Heinz Rottweiller. The arrow hit him in the leg, his nicely rounded calf if you want to be precise but while he was stunned by this turn of events he maintained the strict traditions of the Rapid Air Service and kept a stiff upper lip on which his elegantly coiffured mustachios rested.
Heinz Rottweiller doesn’t respond swiftly enough to his commander’s next order which is to turn right or starboard if you’re of a naval disposition and get the hell out of here. Two more natives arrive in support of the female archer and pin him like a pin cushion and he drops out of the sky like a wet soggy sponge. He survives the crash, just, but is incapacitated or Out of the Fight as my rules have it.
The downed Trooper is still winding his clockwork motor and will be a little while before he can take to the skies again.
Von Sedlitz’s orders are to avoid all contact with anyone and everyone except his target, The Primate. He wonders why his luck has become so sour, so sour that when he turns away from the village he fly’s straight into the path of the Black Watch. “Britisher’s” he shouts, as he recognises the skirts of the deadly soldiery below him.
Ensign Cameron sees the clockwork airmen and commands his men immediately, "ready, aim" but before he can shout fire, they have already done so. No one goes to war wearing a skirt, playing on an animal skin bladder and speaking Gaelic without being a little light on their trigger finger just in case some fool decides to insult them.
They don’t suffer fools or insults gladly.
Four Martini Henry rifles “bark as one” or perhaps that should be “fire in unison” either way they must have been a little disconcerted because they only hit one of the Flyers. He dropped out of the sky like a sack of potatoes, but only a small sack because he wasn’t killed in the crash, just OOF.
Von Seydlitz sees his rapidly upward career turning into a slow decline as he looks around him and assesses the situation. He has 1 Airman still in the sky, one on the ground frantically winding the clockwork mechanism and two shot down, wounded and incapable of self rescue.
The clockwork copters only have enough power to lift one man, he is fortunate that the term “leave no man behind” hasn’t been created yet or he would be in real trouble but he will try and get them all out if it is humanly possible.
Meanwhile the young woman tied to the twin posts in her underwear is becoming a little anxious. A second male warrior has run up the hill in support of the first one. Even though the female warrior is still cowering behind the gruesome idol, things are starting to look less promising than before.
However there is an exchange of fire as the rest of Nigel Barrington’s party move forward to support Nancy Black
This results in two of the warriors running away as the third ducks back into cover.
It’s confusion in the village as natives mill about wondering what they should do, dogs bark and out of one of the huts comes a couple of River Pirates, well anyone in the know would recognise them as River Pirates. Well anyone except the young woman tied to the poles in her underwear would know, but that’s a long story that hopefully I'll get around to someday soon.
There’s a brief conversation with the Missionary before they decide what to do.
There’s a race up the hill to see who can rescue the bound captive in her underwear. It’s a close run thing but Nancy Black cuts the cords with her machete and utters the inevitable cliché “Are you all right my dear”
“No I’m bloody not alright, I’ve been tied to these posts all day waiting for God knows what and you ask me if I’m alright, what kind of a damn fool question is that”. The response though is “Of course I’m alright, thank heavens you arrived in time, I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t saved me.”
Nancy is slightly alarmed to see that the young woman seems to have had a rough and violent life. There is a very nasty scar on her right shoulder, an old scar true but it must have been painfully inflicted. More worrying though is a more recent small round puckered scar on her left shoulder that can only have been caused by a bullet because there is a much larger scar on the back of her shoulder from the exit wound. In addition there were a couple more bullet wounds in her left waist following a line up to the shoulder.
In Nancy’s professional opinion all three must have been inflicted sometime in the last 4 to 6 months because the skin still shows the livid marks of the clumsy stitching job that had been carried out to repair the damage. On further reflection they looked very much like wounds caused by a machine gun, one with quite a kick, as it pulled the barrel upward when firing a short burst of shots. Maybe a Thompson she thought but that would be odd, even in Asia noted for its exotic forms of street violence Thompson’s were rare.
However there was no time for further cogitation as will become apparent.
Back near the panicking villagers von Seydlitz lands to see how his downed trooper is faring and wonders how he is going to get the two wounded ones out of this mess.
That’s when there is a roaring challenge and The Primate emerges from the jungle
That makes up most peoples minds as to which course of action to take. The Natives know that the Sacrifice has been cut free and the Primate will not be pleased, they don’t want to be there if he’s not pleased.
The Missionary and the two River Pirates have heard a hunting rifle and pistol shots as well as the crack of 4 Martini Henry rifle’s, that’s too many guns for them to handle and besides they still have the book. So they decide to retreat in damn quick order, but feel that the Natives are likely to be the prime target for any vengeful pursuit and so head off in a slightly different direction.
Nancy may have cut the cords first but Nigel Barrington strides forward, encouraging his expedition photographer to take pictures as he walks up to the Sacrifice, holding out his hand and introducing himself as the 9th Earl of Stratton. “I hope we may be of some slight service to you my dear, by the way I’m looking for a black butterfly, I don’t suppose you’ve seen one have you”.
The Sacrifice shakes her head in bewilderment.
Von Sedlitz thinks that maybe he can resurrect his career; both he and the sole airworthy Trooper take off and close on The Primate.
“We’d better check out that roar” shouts Nancy Black and she moves forward quickly. “Follow her commands Barrington and the lone soldier obeys as the two Nobs and the Photographer fawn over the rescued Sacrifice. “May I have the pleasure of your name” Barrington asks and the Sacrifice nods slowly.
Von Sedlitz now has the support of his third airman but only he has the Dart Pistol. The Boffins at the Zoologischer Garten Berlin had created a sedative that could be fired from a pistol in the form of a tranquilising dart. His instructions had been clear. We do not know the size of the Primate so have limited the amount of tranquiliser in each dart so as not to kill the beast. You must fire the dart and wait to see what the effects are, if one is not enough then fire a second one and so on until you subdue the beast.
I’ll tell you now, each dart imparts 3 tranquilisation factors, then 2 then 1 in subsequent turns. It will need 14 tranquilisation factors or 3 darts to subdue the Primate, von Sedlytz has a 6 shot pistol.
He fires his first shot and misses.
Then he fired his second shot and missed again. Whoops.
Ensign James Cameron has failed his activations more times than a good Ensign should but finally he gets the men into line facing in the direction that the huge roar had come from.
“Steady men” he commanded with just a slight quaver in his voice, “steady, advance on my marker”.
On second thoughts, the bastards were running off with his personal supply of malt whisky, for just a second he was about to command his troops to turn 180’ and fire but duty overcame that selfish impulse, but only just.
Through the trees he could see an enormous gorilla, what on earth was that doing in south east Asia.
Both he and I have no satisfactory explanation other than the one mentioned earlier that a challenge is a challenge.
From the hillside Barrington had seen the Primate and all thoughts of a Black Butterfly left his mind.
He raised his capture net and moved stealthily forward. Nancy Black checked the round in her rifle for the second time, the idiot wouldn’t get the Primate in that Butterfly net but it looked as though he might try.
She thought of the bonus she'd negotiated and checked the rifle a third time.
Von Seydlitz fired and the dart lodged firmly in the Primates shoulder but the forth shot missed yet again.
In addition to the dodgy porters Ensign Cameron’s had engaged the services of Lon the Wise as a guide. Lon decides that the Primate is so big and his pay is so small that he thinks a short journey back to the boats is in order. No one will miss him in the excitement and confusion of the encounter with the beast.
That is, if anyone survives that encounter.
“What ho Cameron” shouts Nigel Barrington, “how’s the acne, settled down has it”. “Damn you Barrer’s it was just a few teenage spots, not acne at all” replies Ensign Cameron. It would appear they knew each other from some Public school back in Blighty. “Well that’s as maybe but I have seniority and I’ll have a go at the big monkey first, you just stand back and watch how it goes”
Cameron never liked Barrer’s at school so was quite happy to let him tackle the Primate first.
“Stand back” shouts von Seydlitz, “I have a tranquiliser gun” but neither Barrington nor Cameron spoke German and so ignored him.
For anyone who’s not been keeping track, V.S. has fired 4 times and only hit once, he fired again and hit, then took careful aim for his final shot and …………missed.
The Primate felt like me after a long night on wine and calvados, bemused but still standing. He strode unsteadily off into the jungle, eventually the crashing and banging ceased as he wandered out of earshot and that was the last they saw of him.
Well in this episode at least.
Nigel Barrington and James Cameron turned eagerly to the Sacrifice and suggested that she join each of their expeditions in journeying back to civilisation. That wouldn’t be an immediate return they explained, because there was a Black Butterfly to find, for Barrington and Native unrest to unravel for Cameron, but it would be safer for her to travel with one of them.
She considered her options and made a choice.....
As I mentioned on my blog, most of the figures were not painted by me and were part of a bequest from a gentleman called Stephen Gilbert. I hope he would approve, of the scenery which I'm pleased with, if not my writing style which might best be described as schoolboy comic book at best.
At the beginning of the year I did intend to post at least once a month but things just get away from you and I've been in France for a month now without recourse to significant internet so just getting round to this now. We're here for another month so it'll be a while before anything else gets on the Blog. C'est la vie as they say here.
