The German army has pushed into northern France, the British retreating as fast as possible from Dunkirk have arrived back in Britain in a state of confusion. During the rush through Belgium, elements of the German advance guard found sufficient shipping to send a substantial force into East Anglia. The Royal Navy was focused on the evacuation and so this allowed the German army to create a second front for the British High Command to worry about.
The landings were totally unopposed apart from one or two local land owners who had quickly mobilised some of their tenants and armed with shotguns, pitchforks and sundry small arms of unknown provenance tried to stem the Teutonic tide.
So far unsuccessfully.
Two of the local yokels as the German’s referred to them, are a Mad Lord Snapcase a distant relation of the Devonshire Snapcases and the other is Sir Douglas D'Emfour a gentleman farmer well known throughout East Anglia for his prize bullocks. They win prizes at many of the local fairs and even in some far distant lands like Cambridgeshire..
Little Piddling just before the German troops closed in.
Both these gentlemen were captured in Little Piddling fairly quickly, in a mission code named Hello Hello. This is Nighthawk Calling. The full tale of woe has been recorded here on my Blog, somewhere!
Greater Snoring a quiet East Anglian town prior to the dramatic rescue.
The two old duffers were held captive in Greater Snoring but a daring rescue was undertaken by Johnny Vagabond, first world war scout pilot, and his accomplice Bunty Hampster-Crust together with the aid of various elements of the local W.I. and Girl Guides. In spite of some difficult moments the rescue attempt succeeded in a spectacular fashion and all the participants escaped the might of the local German garrison.
Indeed mainly in one piece.
Then in a most ill advised undertaking the Mad Lord Snapcase insisted on freeing the local citizens who had been rounded up following his rescue. This went very badly when Vaggers was unable to charm his way into the camp and in frustration shot the gate guard. Crashing through the gate in a 15 ton truck didn’t go as well as had been hoped and it rolled over shortly after impact, killing one of the Nuns held in the camp and injuring another.
Everyone in the rescue mission was captured and Vaggers was shot in the leg, not his goal scoring leg which was a bit of a relief. Everyone except for Hilde Spankwurst, twin sister of Elise Spankwurst but that’s a very long story which hasn’t been written yet.
Anyway Hilde or Spankers as she was more familiarly known, escaped and made it back to Edna May Whites house in Greater Snoring.
What do you mean! Who’s Edna May White?
This is Edna May White and to get her full backstory, you will need to read the previous tales of daring don’t that make up this saga. Although be prepared, and I will say this only once, you will need a constant supply of hot coffee and strong spirits before attempting this strenuous task.
Careful research of the blog archives should reveal most of the details but some things will still be obscure, especially for those with the attention span of a goldfish, however this is generally known as the fog of war or brain fog, as well as poor continuity by the narrator.
I've created a label East Anglia for them.
The story begins early in the morning, just as day is breaking and the camp guard’s alertness is at its lowest ebb.
Well that’s what the instruction manuals tell you, but the commandant of the camp has his best troops on guard duty at this time of day. Primo Agosti is the camp commandant; his garrison consists of a small squad of Italian troops specially chosen by Mussolini to aid his allies in the invasion attempt. Mussolini doesn’t expect this invasion attempt to go well and he didn’t actually send his best troops.
Well, you wouldn’t....would you.
However the German’s have provided a core of battle hardened troops to stiffen the resolve of Agosti’s men. Agosti knows this and that’s why he has them on guard duty as day breaks, he doesn’t like having them watch over him and the graveyard watch is his revenge.
Actually, to be honest, that’s not really where it begins, it does begins with Edna May White, she’s an enigmatic character, daughter of a fisherman who sailed out of Lowestoft prior to the first world war, he died in 15 and she took over Captaincy of the family herring fishing boat, the Edna May.
When the second war began the enemy started laying mines off the coast of Britain and Edna May was one of the first to volunteer her vessel in an anti mine sweeping role. She was one of the most successful captains undertaking this task until the inevitable happened and the Edna May hit a mine and sank with 2 of her 4 crew lost.
Edna May White was obviously not her real name, it was Doris White but she took the name of her boat as her own, to remind herself of that tragic event and also of the fact that some one would have to pay for the deed. His name would be Fritz, or Herman or anything suitably Germanic, she didn’t really mind, just so long as he paid dearly.
To her left is Eva Strum, Eva is the current alias of Hilde Spankwurst, as I’ve indicated she has a complex history that I imagine much to your relief I’m not going to explain here and on her right is Darleen Scarlet.
Scarlet is a member, the youngest member of the Cluedo Circle. They are an influential group set up by the widow of an industrialist, a Mrs Peacock, a woman of immense wealth, power and privilege, which she is using to combat the growing power of the armaments industry Baron’s. These are the men who see war as a huge profit making business and don't weigh the cost of other peoples lives in the Balance Sheet.
Well I suppose it actually it doesn’t really begin with Edna May White but with her very cunning plan. She obtained information that a certain Kapitaine Kamilla Altmhann was due to pass through Little Snoring on that very evening, the day before they would make the rescue attempt and Altmahnn would have valid papers that should get them into the camp without any questions being asked.
Kamilla and her driver were duly waylaid, uniforms, without bullet holes and papers intact. Spankwurst is now Kamilla Altmhann and Scarlet has taken the persona of Ingrid Rockmeir. Edna May White is still Edna May White but will take no further part in the rescue, she’s getting a little elderly so planning and cunning are her forte now.
The sun rises early in the flatlands of Norfolk and Astrid Weise is looking forward to being relieved so she can get some shut eye.
Gerda Notlinger is wondering sourly why no one has realised that the Halt sign on the barrier is facing inside the camp rather than the traditional way. Is it the British or Italians who made this mistake or just the fool who set up the scenery, but then realises she doesn’t care, because a convoy of 2 vehicles is approaching.
She also wonders if 2 vehicles can be called a convoy but she doesn’t care much about that either.
Astrid Weise out ranks Gerda and so she walks round the barrier demanding to see the papers of the person driving the small roadster leading the convoy of two vehicles up to the camp barrier.
Years ago I read an AAR by an American chap, Afrik I think it was and he played out a couple of games using the Pulp Alley Rules. His premise was that 2 agents would infiltrate a secret research establishment and steal some plans for something. I copied his game report and saved it for 10 years apparently, before stealing his ideas and using them here.
Instead of a shooting and killing game, the agents would use guile and cunning in opposed rolls against the guards to convince them that they were kosher and let them further into the complex and eventually steal the plans. In my case, get the prisoners released into my custody so that I could then move them out of this camp and ostensibly to another one, i.e. rescue them.
These are the character cards I use for most of my solo games; in this case I intended to use the Charisma of my agents against the Brains of the guards.
Astrid has Brains 2 and Eva/Hilde has Charisma 4. I use the basis of two Hour Wargames as my go to rules and they use passing dice. So Astrid has to roll 2D6 and a pass is 1-3 and a fail is 4-6, she compares that to Hilde’s 4 D6. The one with the most passes wins and the other looses. Initially I was expecting to be let into the camp and see the commandant. I expected he might want to check Hilde’s bona fides and I had a cunning plan awaiting such an eventuality, I’ll explain this later because it was all rather unnecessary.
Astrid informs Kamilla/Hilde/Eva that the papers are not in order. Gott in himmel, Kamilla can’t believe that her 4 dice have been beaten by Astrid’s 2 dice and neither can I.
Astrid sends Gerda to wake the camp Commandant, this takes a little while and Kamilla/Hilde/Eva tries to change Astrisd’s mind and let them into the camp, but to no avail. Bugger, bugger, bugger, this isn’t going the way I expected.
Kamilla/Hilde/Eva is giving Astrid a good dressing down and her advantage in dice is beginning to show dividends but unfortunately Gerda has finally roused Primo from his slumbers and they are approaching the gate.
Scarlet, you remember Scarlet, well she’s driving the truck and watching the exchange with interest, if not down right apprehension.
In addition to the gate guards there are also 2 other guards patrolling the inside perimeter, one is approaching the gate and the other is on the far side of the camp.
You might think Kamilla/Hilde/Eva is some sort of fool to go along with my naïve (well Afrik’s) scenario but with Edna May White’s help she was able to recruit some of the Girl Guides from the initial rescue of the two old duffers, and so has help at hand if it all goes pear shaped; which is the way it’s going now.
Primo joins Astrid at the barrier and is just as unconvinced that Kamilla/Hilde/Eva’s papers are in order and after careful examination says “These papers are forged, you are under arrest”
You may be wondering how the papers can be forged when they were taken from an SS Officer, to be honest so was I and it would appear that Primo Agosti has made a career ending decision, but that sometimes happens in my games!
This is the crucial initiative roll. The way this works is that each figure has a Rep or Reputation value and to activate each turn they roll a D6 and have to roll equal to or less than this number. The highest dice roll goes first, draws act simultaneously. It’s a bit more complicated than that but in essence Scarlet will activate first, then Kamilla/Hilde/Eva, then the enemy.
Scarlet’s knowledge of the German language is scanty at best but she recognises the signs of yet another botched plan, even if it started out as cunning as a fox on steroids.
So she opens fire with her sub machine gun and rattles off a few rounds. This is obviously going to wake everyone in the camp, but who knows; they might be heavy sleepers and take a while to get up, dressed and armed before emerging out of their barracks. Or maybe not, I have another cunning plan to avoid knowing when this will happen and keep me in suspense as the game progresses.
Scarlet knows the smg drifts upwards as it’s fired, so she aimed low. She’s stronger than she thought and the barrel doesn’t drift upward and she hits them both in the leg, even so, they’re down for the count and out of the fight.
Kamilla/Hilde/Eva had unbuttoned her holster before exiting the car and she draws it before Gerda can respond. There’s a deafening click as the hammer hits a dud round. Gerda looks on in astonishment. Then one of the roving guards arrives, an Italian, he also looks on in astonishment.
Why are these crazy Germans shooting each other.
There’s an exchange of bullets, largely ineffectual shots but Gerda gets hit twice so she might not consider them ineffectual but she’s as tough as old boots and stays on her feet, but then fails her Guts test and ducks back at a slow stumble into the cover provided by the sentry box leaving Giuseppe alone.
Yes I know you don’t spell Guiseppe as I did on his base, but I was concentrating so much on getting the letters neat that I didn’t see it at the time. I’ve done this a few times with other characters as well, I think it must be an age thing.
As soon as the sound of gunfire reached her, Isabelle deForest started cutting a woman sized hole in the wire. She’s very adept with the wire cutters and was through in a few seconds. Behind her Nicole is wearing a very expensive dress and refuses to rush through the wire, the sharp cut ends could ruin her outfit.
You may remember earlier there was a picture of Barbara Vasseur with a shotgun.
Her job was to shoot the oil drums. I didn’t know if they were petrol or diesel until I rolled a dice and got petrol, I don’t think diesel explodes with buckshot fired at it, although maybe it does.
This woke everyone in the next village.
The gun fight at the gate continued, Scarlet had trouble with the car door but eventually managed to open it and join in the fire fight, hitting Guiseppe in the head twice and leg once, she’s a crack shot and Guiseppe is out of the fight, he might even be dead.
Meanwhile the guards were rushing to get dressed etc etc. Gerda is still hiding behind the sentry box.
I’m sure there’s a saying about bearding a lion in its den. Like most saying’s it’s nonsense, lions don’t have beards, we’ll not the last time I went into one’s den but the essence is that Gerda might be wounded but certainly isn’t out of the fight just yet.
Both women fired as one, simultaneously even.
Fortunately for Kamilla/Hilde/Eva, Gerda missed and she didn’t, a rushed shot hit Gerda in the right leg and finally put her out of the fight or oof.
In the distance the final patrolling guard came into sight, they both see each other but Kamilla/Hilde/Eva is the first to fire, one in the chest and one in the gut, either would have taken the guard out of the fight and she drops to the floor.
Her name is Erika in case anyone is interested.
Just a quick overview to show a much more promising situation than I had hoped for once things went pear shaped. It’s all going rather well considering nothing went right. Five guards are down and the assault party haven’t lost anyone….yet
We’ve secured the gate area but the building left front is the barracks, I don’t know how many men are in there, no more than 6 though, the one front centre is the CO’s office and sleeping quarters, only the second in command is still in that one, but the chaps we’ve come to rescue could be in any one of the other 4 buildings. Hospital front right, Cooler rear right and the other two are accommodation huts.
I’ve weighted the dice to give a greater chance of it being the Hospital or Cooler but there are 5 chaps and chapesses to find. However after the last game I know that two of them were injured and I may have to get the truck into the compound to evacuate them. There will be a dice roll once I find them to decide on their condition.
A close up of the assault from the east. Nicole has finally overcome her worry about her pretty blue dress and is moving to the Cooler door, Isabelle must have snagged her dress going through the wire because she’s still not moved on. Barbara with the shotgun is looking with satisfaction at the blazing fuel drums but she needs to get to the hole in the fence because she has no wire cutters of her own.
Kamilla/Hilde/Eva takes the bold if not foolhardy decision to run across the camp and shoulder charge the door of one of the accommodation huts. Trusting that Scarlet, who has remained at the gate will watch her back and take care of any guards emerging from the barracks which is the building behind her.
She hits the door with a solid thump and bounces back off it. I might have made the doors a bit too tough because it was going to take an age before we made much impression on them and finally broke in.
That’s when the first guard opened the door, rather tentatively and looked around, so Scarlet shot him. Scarlet is the one at the gate if you’re not keeping up.
Her quick burst of fire emptied the magazine and unfortunately she missed, the guard fired back at her and also missed. The good news is that his attention is now on Scarlet and not Kamilla/Hilde/Eva who is still failing to break down the door but has her back to him so would be an easy target.
Another guard leaves the safety of the hut and engages in the fire fight with Scarlet.
She has taken cover behind the Roadster and will catch hell from Mrs White when White gets her new Roadster back full of bullet holes. At this point Miss Scarlet doesn’t care because she’s in one of the hottest fire fights in her short career of impersonating a German soldier.
It’s a bit like Vaudeville but much more dangerous if you don't perform well.
Guards continue to erupt from the barracks but Miss Scarlet is a crack shot and she’s knocking them down as they erupt.
Over by the Cooler, Nichole in the blue dress is firing shot after shot into the door lock, but her small calibre revolver isn’t making much of an impression on the lock or the door. At the hospital things aren’t going much better, Isobelle tried to kick the door open and hurt her big toe, she was going to try again with the left foot when Barbara pushed her out of the way and put the shotgun up to the lock and popped a cap in it. The door shivered but didn’t open. There was a lot of shouting from inside but they couldn’t make out the words.
A shotgun shell exploding close to your ears makes them ring a little.
Scarlet has now dropped 3 of the guards, one is out of picture and the other 2 are looking very worried indeed, but they both passed their guts test and didn’t duck back into the building which would have been their safest course of action.
Finally Silvano Bertone the second in command of the camp emerges from his cosy quarters, he’s the one dead centre of the picture, seeing that most of his command are writhing on the ground, and those that are not writhing are just very still on the ground and possibly dead. He fails his guts test and pops back into his cosy quarters and telephones for help.
Now my cunning plan comes into effect. That’s the cunning plan to deal with the telephone call, not the cunning plan to enter the camp without firing a shot. That ones not gone well so far.
Nichole finally shoots her way into the cooler and finds Snappers, Dougers and Mad Patsie cowering in the corner, as far away from the door as they can get.
Similarly after putting 3 shotgun shells into the hospital door, Barbara and Isabelle make this way into the building. That’s when they realise that the noise in the building hadn’t been shouts of encouragement but commands to cease and desist. Splinters from the door had been flying everywhere but with good luck no one had been injured. Vaggers and Bunty were relieved that the rescue had ended and they were still alive, the Nun was just very very angry.
The shooting outside stopped as Scarlet took down the last guard, she’s a devil with that sub machine gun.
Silvano Bertone the second in command of the camp finally got an operator to answer his call. His pleas to be put through to HQ were answered in perfect Italian by the Operator. She assured him that she could only get a message through, a direct line was impossible, there was a war on and things were difficult, didn’t he realise that. Finally he said thank you, get the message through as quickly as possible and then went and hid under the bed where no one found him.
Mrs White thanked Madame DiAngello her next door neighbour and also the village Telephonist, the message did indeed get through but reinforcements for some reason were slow to arrive.
Finally all the hut doors were opened and the camps inhabitants were able to make a Great Escape.
Some like Professor Plumjoski were a little puzzled by events but he followed the mass exodus with good cheer.
The Rescuers:- on the left is Hilde Spankwurst, alias Eva Strum, alias Kamilla Alltmhann, and generally known as Spankers. The three Gals on the right might look a little like members of the Mabel Street Mob and if you thought so, then you’d be correct. You may have seen them recently in Venice looking for the Missing Millions back in the late 1920’s, this is a more recent photo, although they don’t appear to have aged much.
America became a little hot for them and as you will have realised most of them have European sounding names, they decided Europe needed a little help running the war effort and being good hearted souls they came back to help out a little.
They'd also heard on a new market, apparently called the Black Market and it seemed there might be some business to be done in that market for an enterprising group of young women.
The Rescued, all using an alias except for Mad Patsie Jones who can’t spell Allius.
The Master Mind – Mrs Edna May White wishes to remain anonymous.
