Venice - The Abandoned City - The AAR

I do apologise for the long and winding back story to this game, which even for me was verbose and I’d like to say the AAR is more succinct but that would be a lie..........sorry.

Would today’s Venetians favour an overcrowded city with too many people or a city containing none at all?

A deserted city is a pretty spooky place, but I’m posting a few pictures of it to show off the Mad Lord Snapcases terrain, he put a tremendous amount of effort into the building of….well the buildings, contracting Tenosynovitis stippling the quays in the process.

This injury has a more common name where I grew up but maybe best not to repeat it here.

The silence is broken by a low rumbling sound of an ancient Perkins diesel engine, the silence returns when the launch docks on the deserted quay and Snapcase cuts the engine.

“Well chaps, we can’t stay here” Johnny Vagabond stated with some degree of reluctance in his voice, “let’s get a move on”. “OK” Dougers replied with a similar amount of reluctance, “We stick to the plan”?

It was a question rather than a statement, they had discussed possible options but none of them was sure what they would find when they landed or what they’d finally agreed.

“Of course we stick to the plan” Snappers cut in “but don’t forget what Thingummy Bob said about contact and enemies and plans not surviving, his voice trailed off in the silence, “you know what I mean.”

“Too right old boy” Dougers replied, “Was that the same chap who blathered on about too much wine, bullets and women”.

“I think it was” Vaggers joined in “but I’m not sure about the women” and then looking at Nurse Schultz, Veronica Permahorn and Lettice Crisply-Dunne he realised his mistake and continued quickly “but the more the merrier”

The Marie Ann rocked gently in her own wash as the company gazed in wonder as Dougers demonstrating his canine control on the foredeck. Reba, his pooch woofed quietly, waiting for him to throw the tennis ball so she could chase after it and then refuse to give it up when she returned.

Snappers was the first to set foot on the Quay, he’d chewed on Dougers Red Man chewing tobacco but was smoking with some satisfaction a fine Cuban cigar and hoping it would remove the foul taste of the Red Man. His constant companion Scrotum, as always, accompanied the Mad Lord, how he managed to avoid spilling the cut glass decanter of Port no one knows, “custom and practice, custom and practice” Snappers stated but there was much more to it than that. I personally believe that he had it superglued to the tray, perhaps just another urban myth.

As C.I.C. of the Mobile Bath Unit through the dark days of the Great War Snapcase had his pick of the British Army’s finest volunteers and without hesitation had chosen Diggory Venn, Uriah Heep and Nicodemus ‘Noddy’ Boffin to accompany him on this perilous adventure.

Next onto the Quay was Sir Douglas d’Emfore, of Scot’s ancestry, Sir Douglas had shone both at Eton, Cambridge and finally in the Diplomatic Service where, during the war, he’d run a very successful network of spies in Central Europe.

His shining star was Lettice Crisply-Dunne, an ex student of Roedean, the girls school where they turn out the finest sort of gal, fit to run an Empire don’t you know. To her right was one of Sir Douglas’s ten sisters, Veronica Permahorn, all the sisters were older than young Dougie which had given him a bit of a complex, one that he never discussed in public. You will appreciate that Sir Douglas’s father was a Laird of the old school, no not Roedean but the school that enjoys the long dark cold Scottish winters and makes the most of them. It was eleven long winters before young Douglas was conceived and the Laird had enjoyed every one.

Finally there was Mad Wullie McSpaniel as devoted to Sir Douglas as his dog Reba, another Spaniel, together they managed one brain cell and had to share it carefully.

As I think I mentioned Johnny Vagabond had a difficult time settling into civilian life after the war, he’d gone rather rogue, sporting a bushy beard, sloppy clothes and a large slouch hat. Similarly his friend Ichiro ‘Taki’ Takahashi had reverted to wearing Samurai clothing around the more fashionable parts of London, when asked if it was his fathers ancestral influence he grinned and replied, “No, but it doesn’t half attract the young ladies”

Nurse Schultz was still the same old enigmatic character and Vagabond was surprised when she arrived wearing a Nuns outfit but he knew better than to ask why this might be. Finally, Jack Cowan was dressed as an Indian Raja, knowing his propensity for drama as well as his propensity for adventure and the fact that he couldn’t keep a secret, Vagabond knew he would discover the reason for the costume soon enough.

They were all taken rather by surprise when a large shark breached in the lagoon, shattering the silence as it splashed back down on the limpid water.

Was this an omen…………….or could it be that, sometimes, a shark is just a shark.

The expedition started off quietly for Vagabonds group, In the distance they have traversed the green bridge and are going to investigate the boat building workshop and then the Ice cream parlour.

Meanwhile Sir Douglas has forged on ahead of Snapcase and will be the first to cross the grey bridge in the foreground. Snapcase elected to take an easy route through the red and yellow palace.

This proved to be a poor decision and as his party arrived on the balcony they tripped over a serpents nest. The serpents were not pleased at having their nest disturbed and slithered closer to strike the intruders with fang and poison.

The adventurers were armed with an odd assortment of weapons, Snapcase had opened up the family armoury to the men of the Mobile Bath Unit and strangely they had all taken a sharp bladed weapon as well as a more modern silenced automatic pistol.

In spite of the fact that the stingy games master had only allowed them 9 bullets each, the party blazed away with gay abandon. Using ammunition as though they had plenty in reserve they shot one or two of the larger snakes before one of their party was bitten and Uria Heap started to succumb to its venom.

As the desperate fight took place inside the Palace a swarm of giant mosquitoes started to……..well, swarm at the exit to the building.

Victorious but weary from their fight with the snakes Snapcase and his men stepped out into the daylight to be met by the mosquitoes.

Bullets flew but even though they were giant mosquitoes they were pretty hard to hit with a 9mm bullet, even harder to slice with one of the exotic bladed weapons that Snapcase had provided but eventually they were dispersed. The respite was then used by Diggory Venn to administer rudimentary first aid to Uria Heap who had been bitten by one of the venomous snakes.

The conversation went something like this. Diggory, “I’ll cut across the wound and you suck out the venom” Bugger that for a game of cowboys was the general response and so Uria had to suck his own venom out.

Sir Douglas was having his own problems when his party ran into a rat pack….a giant rat pack. A few years without human interference was having a remarkable impact on the local fauna.

Anyway it turned out that rats were easier to shoot than mosquitoes and there were less of them as well

Lettice had taken to the gentle art of stick fighting during her final year at Roedean and pursued this sport with alacrity at her finishing school in Switzerland. Well anything was better than deportment classes or the gentle art of table laying for a diplomatic dinner.

It’s strange what a young gal learns at school that stands her in good stead in later years, certainly that would have gone through the minds of the rats if they had such cognitive thinking processes.

Johnny Vagabond and his band of ne’er do wells had been having an easy time of it, they had not encountered any mutant or none mutant creatures but had discovered the map that leads to the hidden chamber of the Ten, as well as the key that would unlock the Portal of the Columns, although they weren’t quite sure what that was yet.

Walks and Parks went through my mind and if it wasn’t for the constant barracking from Snappers and Dougers as well as the occasional sotto voce comment of “Fix” I would have considered my scenario was working extremely well, but they’re a hard audience to please.

Having disposed of the mosquitoes and rats, rats as big as cats as Sir Douglas was wont to say at fairly regular intervals, both parties walked boldly across St Marks Square in front of the Doges Palace.

They seemed a little disconcerted when asked to roll a dice as they passes the Venice Lion, fortunately or unfortunately the cat remained a statue. I have to say I was a little disappointed at this turn of events, but I suppose is saved me from a little more barracking.

You will have realised by now that the pictures don’t necessarily correspond with the storyline, but they do show off the Mad Lords terrain to good effect.

In the distance Snappers is entering another building, it is named something like the Toure de Vagabondia and is the largest erection in Venice, something I’m quite proud of, but I might have used that line in last years game write up, so just ignore it now.....sorry.

Team Vagabond continued their serene progress along the north side of the Grand Canal but the innocent blue building on their right was to end that progress and prove their undoing.

Leading the way over the bridge into the final quarter of Venice, Snapcase was feeling jubilant, there were only 3 buildings still to be searched and we had the map and 2 of the 3 keys. His Bath Boys had performed well. Ok that might be an overstatement, adequate might be better but even so they were all still alive and mostly in one piece so cause for jubilation.

Sir Douglas was impatient, come on old chap he encouraged, Sir Douglas had an important appointment with a G and T and he didn’t want to be late.

Good grief, this is going to slow us up was his first thoughts when some fishy looking Deep Ones moved menacingly towards his party.

The ice will be melting was his second thought when the initial round of combat didn’t go well and Sir Douglas doesn’t like watery G and T, not at all.

Most, if not all of his party suffered injury, nothing critical but worrying, if he couldn’t counter the Fishy chaps attacks he might be in a spot of bother.

Snappers had entered the next to last building and discovered a Vampire, we were using the Frostgrave rules and I’d adopted the creatures, spells etc into the 1920’s.

I’d taken the Frostgrave descriptions, and for a Vampire it said “can only be killed by magical weapons” I’d intended thinking about this and converting it into something to fit in my game but I forgot. I’d also send the files to Snappers and Dougers so they had some idea of what was going on and what they might be up against. Over the internet connection I heard Dougers say “can only be killed by magical weapons”. Bugger I thought, I can’t tell them I’ve not worked this out yet or my credibility will be lower that a snakes belly.

That’s right I responded quickly, think of the Hammer House of Horror films.

If you’re not old enough to have viewed these works of art or come from some foreign land and never had that opportunity Vampires could usually be killed by a wooden stake through the heart, or beheading. That should do it I thought, Snappers crew have more cutlery than the city of Sheffield ever produced, he’ll think of beheading.

After a short pause Snappers triumphantly announced, we’ll run outside. He’s a canny one, there’s a third thing that killed Vampires in these films and that was sunlight, I’d forgotten about that but it worked perfectly. The Vampire followed and crumbled to dust. Scratch one Vampire.

Having had a fairly easy run so far, Vagabond and company entered the last house and encountered a party of Ghouls. The Ghouls might have been having a party, but it wasn’t one Vaggers wanted to attend, however the Ghouls seemed fairly insistent on having the first dance although I expect they would have liked it to be the last waltz as well.

My chaps were pretty tooled up for a close quarters fight so I wasn’t unduly worried. Taki had his ancestral Katana, Cowan an army issue BC41 Knuckleduster/knife, Nurse Schultz produced a flick knife from her cowl and I had a short pickaxe handle, lead infill at one end and the other sharpened to a wicked point. I’d read the list of likely encounters and was ready for the Vampire even if the other two weren’t.

Ghouls apparently laugh at a sharp wooden stake so Vaggers hit his opponent with the weighted end.

Apparently they laugh at the weighted end as well and after the first round of fighting we were all on the ropes. Vaggers had done reasonably well, only loosing 20% of his health but the other 3 lost about 50% each. The dice ran against us and they’re D20’s so it can get nasty, quickly.

It was Dougers who came up with a carefully considered strategy that might turn the tide.

We’ll conduct a rapid advance in a retrograde manner away from those Fish creatures, then turn and shoot. It was a risk because he had the canal behind him even though he had the advantage of being able to move slightly faster than the Fishmen.

Bullets flew and they proved more effective than hand to fish finger combat.

I decided not to look at how far a Ghoul could run before I made my move and so just ran, which was a good job because it turned out they could move as fast as my normal move and would have caught me if I’d turned to shoot. As it was, having opened up a gap I could execute Dougers plan. Fire, retire, fire retire, and if that didn’t work I could always try retiring and firing before just running.

Snappers in the mean time had gone back into the building that the Vampire came out of and found nothing.

That meant the final key was either in the house I was running away from, or the building Sir Douglas was retiring in good order from.

While we wait patiently for the Ghouls to mount the steps onto the bridge so we can shoot them, and Sir Douglas holds off the Fishmen below, Snapcase nips in to the building behind them and finds the last key.

That was a great relief to the scenario writer, because the opposition was proving too tough to fight hand to hand once the bullets ran out.

We all fire a final volley at the weird creatures and run, fortunately this killed the last of them and we didn’t need to fight a continual rearguard action all the way across the city.

So; we have a map to show us where the secret tunnel entrance is but there’s a puzzle we need to solve before we can open the entrance.

Legends abound in Venice, there’s the one about The Ghost of the tall Bell-Ringer who sold his skeleton to science, he is said to haunt the area around St. Mark's. Legend says he still leaves the Natural History Museum at night to ring the bells before begging for alms to buy his skeleton back.

There are the Lions of St. Mark: The symbol of St. Mark is central to Venice's identity. One legend speaks of the lions protecting the city from the threat of the sea or in my case Dougers, Snappers and Vaggers.

Also the Columns of St. Mark and St. Todaro in Piazza San Marco are associated with various myths, including one about a mysterious third column that has never been installed.

I’d stolen all three of these legends to use in the game. Well actually Dougers came up with the details so I guess I stole them from him.

As all the members of the expedition are examining St Marks Square carefully Vaggers was the first to try and find the third column and with it the tunnel entrance. This involved an element of risk, the same as spell casting in Frostgrave but with a heroic effort, or maybe just a lucky dice roll……

Four sandstone columns rose out of the Piazza, the fountain stopped running and a doorway opened.

This photo was taken just before the door opened in the fountain.

When I suggested to Snappers that we should pull out the centre of his fountain to represent the open doorway he seemed strangely reluctant, so you will just have to use your imaginations, sorry.

That was the final act, probably a bit of an anti-climax but we gained entry to the Chamber of the Ten, opened the safe and escaped with the information.

There is just the small matter of getting it back to London safely through a hostile Europe. Mussolini’s supporters will not want to let this happen easily and will almost certainly call on their allies to help recover the stolen documents.

Who knows it might even lead to another game.

Venice - The Abandoned City - The Protagonists

I asked Dougers and Snappers to provide background detail for the characters they would use searching the Abandoned City of Venice and I'm posting them here in full, as much because they are germane to the game as because they're a fun read in their own right. Well I found them a fun read at least. No pictures :( Sorry. The other point about these back stories is that it enabled me to flesh out the characterisation so that each participant character in the game didn't have the same stats.

Sir Douglas d’Emfore

Born Douglas McFaugh, he was the 11th child of a minor Scottish baronet, Sir Dougal McFaugh. The previous 10 children were all girls so Douglas was much feted by his parents although his mother, having finally produced a son and heir, sensibly spent most of her time in Edinburgh, a fairly safe distance from Sir Dougal. Sir Dougal, the Laird of Invercockerleekie, was known locally as Roaring Dougal and was a man of vast appetites. Not all of Douglas’ sisters bore any resemblance to his mother. Nevertheless, they were a happy brood.

Sir Dougal created something of a sensation when he announced that “Wee Douglas”, now he was 13, would be attending Eton College. When asked how he, an impoverished Scots baronet, could afford the fees he replied “Wheest, awa wi yee” (for some reason, the people of Invercockerleekie spoke in this extraordinary music-hall faux Scots) ma ither bairns are naught but wee pulin gurrrls. Ahve nay spent a brass farthin’ on any one o’them so ma boy cud have the best.”

So young Douglas went off to Eton. His father, a very practical man, told him to change his name so that he could succeed in the Sassenach world and thus he became Douglas d’Emfore instead of McFaugh.He was a middling student but excelled in games and languages. Being an old Etonian he had no trouble getting into Cambridge where, bye-and-bye, he was approached by an ancient don who, with an air of mystery, said that Douglas should join the Diplomatic Service rather than the Foreign Office after graduating and wait to be contacted by someone who would offer him an interesting job "You’re just the kind of young chap he’s looking for” the don said. Despite this invitation sounding slightly questionable, Douglas’ interest was piqued.

The old academic’s prediction was soon proved to be accurate. Within months of joining the Service, Douglas was invited to a meeting at The Travellers Club in Pall Mall. He met a suave diplomat, Peregrine de Leominster and a rugged military type, Barnaby Pitt-Bulstrode. After what seemed a rambling, chatty conversation, de Leominster said “Well, old boy. Fancy doing a bit of travelling? Making use of your German and that sort of thing?” d’Emfore, although still mystified as to what he was being recruited for, thought “why not” and thus became a confidential agent disguised as a minor diplomat. He proved himself adept at the rôle and became a specialist in Central and Eastern European matters. By the time the Secret Service Bureau was officially established in 1909, d’Emfore was a senior man. Operating from Switzerland, he was by now running extensive operations through Germany, Austro-Hungary, the Balkans and Italy.

The outbreak of The Great War saw d’Emfore’s operations expanded enormously and he was always on the lookout for new agents. When his sister, Veronica Permahorn (of whom more later) told him about a close friend of hers, Lettice Crisply-Dunne (more of her later, also), being stranded in Austria and willing to stay and operate clandestinely, he jumped at the chance. Veronica told him a bit about Lettice and it was obvious she was the right sort so, taking advantage of the chaos in Vienna at the beginning of the war, he was able to smuggle the necessary documentation to her to enable her to stay in Austria and pass as an Austrian.

D’Emfore had a most successful war, thanks in no small part to Lettice and others like her, but when it finished, he felt the need to get away from the secret world and travel the globe but his past kept catching up with him and he found himself involved in many adventures in the strangest parts of the world - which is why he finds himself now, about to embark on another one, this time in Venice. He was to be joined by Lettice and Veronica who had been with him in many of his post-war adventures and also his faithful ghillie, Mad Wullie McSpaniel.

Lettice Crisply-Dunne

Born 1886.

Daughter of Baron Christian Crisply-Dunne. Until the age of 11, she received an eccentric education from her mother. Lady Strangely Crisply-Dunne which involved lots of swimming in cold lakes and wholesale slaughtering of wild animals. She then was sent to Roedean School. Some of her fellow new pupils quickly succumbed to the inevitable bullying. Some dealt with it stoically and moved on. The arch bully, Horrenda Natchbull, quickly discovered that occasionally a newcomer reacted savagely. Two weeks into the new term, Horrenda was found suspended upside down from the cistern in one of the staff toilets, her head one and a quarter inches above the water level. The toilet had been used but not flushed. Pinned to her blouse was a note saying "Horrenda - done crisply." Lettice spent three years at Roedean without experiencing any bullying - on the contrary she was, regrettably, an active and imaginative bully herself. After a lively conversation between the school and Lady Strangely, it was agreed that Lettice should pursue her education elsewhere. Her mother sent her to a predictably unconventional finishing school in Switzerland where she excelled in shooting all types of small-arms, including the crossbow, as well as achieving proficiency in all the major European languages, climbing, botany and, not surprisingly, stick-fighting.

As soon as she left the Swiss school in 1904, she embarked on a series of explorations in some of the most inhospitable parts of the world. Returning home from an archeological dig in Kurdistan in 1914, she found herself stranded in Austria when Great Britain entered the war against Austria-Hungary in mid-August. Not one to bemoan her fate, she decided to do what she could as an agent in the enemy’s midst. As a fluent speaker of German with a genuine Swiss accent, she blended in effortlessly and was soon contacted by an existing espionage cell in Salzburg. She came to the notice of Sir Douglas d’Emfore, the secretive genius behind the Salzburg cell and many others throughout Europe. He had already had glowing reports about her from his sister Veronica Permahorn and she was duly recruited and became a very valuable agent throughout the duration of the war.

With the advent of peace, she returned to her adventurous life, visiting the most dangerous parts of the world in search of historical remains, often in the company of Sir Douglas and his sister Veronica. She also found time to be one of the founders of The League of Lady Adventurers and lists the club’s Pall Mall address as her home in England.

For reasons that have not yet been fully explained, she now finds herself on the brink of another adventure with her old chums, this time in Venice.

Veronica Permahorn

Of Sir Douglas McFaugh’s ten “wee pulin gurrrls”, six had left home before Douglas graduated from Cambridge. One ran her own school for Young Ladies in Edinburgh, one had a very successful, very select brothel in Aberdeen, one was a circus trapeze artist, one was married to a sheep farmer in New Zealand, one was an all-in wrestler in America (her story was unique) and the last one became a young widow after her wealthy husband, Ulysses B Permahorn, was eaten by a pride of lions whilst collecting beetles in South Africa. She was late on the scene of the tragedy, being more interested in big game hunting than beetles, but as she later said, “Ulysses didn’t die in vain - I managed to shoot a splendid male as he was gnawing Ulysses’ left thigh bone.”

She spent the war in Africa, after which she met Lettice and they formed the League of Lady Adventurers.

She has shared many adventures with Sir Douglas and Lettice and now is happily preparing for another unlikely adventure with them, this time in Venice

Mad Wullie McSpaniel

Wullie was born., that is incontestable. Exactly when is not known. His father was a crofter, one of the Laird of Invercockerleekie, Sir Dougal McFaugh’s, tenants. When Wullie was seven, he entered the service of Sir Dougal and his natural country-lore made him an obvious candidate to become a ghillie. He was a few years older than Sir Dougal’s only son, Douglas and they became fast friends, despite their difference in status. When Douglas went to Eton, Wullie went with him. He wasn’t told to, he just went. During Douglas’ time there, Wullie was an ever present although no-one knew where he lived or what he lived on. The same thing happened when Douglas went on to Cambridge. And again, when he moved to London as a member of the diplomatic service. At which time, the arrangement was formalised. Wullie became Douglas’ (now Sir Douglas) servant and has remained so ever since. Wullie is as tough as teak, equally at home on a barren moor, a tropical forest, a sandy desert or a dockside pub. He’s an expert tracker and a fine shot. His loyalty to Sir Douglas is unshakeable. They have been inseparable on countless adventures and Wullie is now contentedly contemplating another, this time in Venice.

Lord Snapcase, entry in Burke’s Peerage, 1925 ed.

The Honourable Willard Cornelius Waterloo Clarence Snapcase was born into the Snapcase dynasty in Peshawar, on 13th November, 1880, as the eldest son of the 9th Earl, Lord Hereward Montmorency Snapcase (1854–1925), a noted bon vivant and a celebrated gourmet and Lady Prunella St. John Faux-Quoins (1860–1943), although at the time he was widely believed to be an illegitimate son of the Prince of Wales (Edward VII as he was later to become).This heinous rumour was quashed in the famous libel case of Snapcase v. Horse & Hound (the weekly periodical). The 9th Earl was represented in court by the family lawyers, Blush, Cringe and Flinch of the Inner Temple.

Willard was educated at St. Cakes, the much-vaunted public school at Loose-Chippings, near the family seat, Snapcase Hall at Much-Piddling. From there, he went to Cocklecarrot College, Oxford, but left around 1899, just before the Second Boer War, to join the British Army. He falsified his name and age, signing up as "Trooper Snappers" in the Much-Piddling Hussars, a Yeomanry regiment raised by the Earl of Snapcase in 1797. Sometimes referred to as ‘The Earl of Snapcase’s Own’. He claimed to be 25 years old when his actual age was no more than 20.

Willard was wounded twice in South Africa early in the Second Boer War and was invalided home. His father was furious when he learned his son had abandoned his studies but allowed him to remain in the army. After another brief period at Oxford, where Louis D'Ascoyne Mazzini, 10th Duke of Chalfont was among his friends, he was given a commission in the Felpersham Peculiars. He saw action in South Africa again, and on 14th September 1901 was given a regular commission as a second lieutenant in the Mobile Bath Unit. Willard was transferred to India in 1902, where he enjoyed sports, especially shooting and pig sticking.

Snapcase’s serious wound in the Boer War (it was rumoured but never confirmed, that he had lost a testicle) instilled in him a strong desire for physical fitness and he ran, jogged, walked and played sports on a regular basis. In male company he was "a charming and erudite companion and must hold the world record for outstanding quaffage".

After his mobile bath unit was transferred to South Africa, he was promoted to lieutenant on 16 July 1904 and appointed an aide-de-camp to the commander-in-chief, Lieutenant General Sir Malteser Kenwood-Chef, the following July. He describes this period lasting up to 1914 as his "Heyday", the title of Chapter 3 of his autobiography, “Confessions of a Rough-Rider”. His light duties as aide-de-camp gave him time for fornication, another of his interests.

In 1908, he married Countess Friederike Maria Karoline Henriette Rosa Sabina Franziska Fugger von Spanckwürst (1887 - 1949), the eldest daughter of Karl, 5th Prince Fugger von Spanckwürst and Princess Eleonora zu Hohenlohe- Schamperücke und Unterer-Kitzler of Klagenfurt, Austria.

The Duke of Borchester was the honorary colonel of the Royal Borsetshire Fencibles, and from 1 January 1912 until his departure for Somaliland in 1914 Snapcase served as the regiment's adjutant.

When the First World War broke out, Snapcase was en route to British Somaliland where a low-level war was underway against the followers of Dervish leader Mohammed bin Abdullah, called the "Mad Mullah" by the British. Snapcase had been seconded to the Kebab Camel Corps. In an attack upon an enemy fort at Shimber Berris, Snapcase was shot twice in the face, losing an eye and a nostril. He was awarded the Distinguished Service Order (DSO) on 15 May 1915.

 

In February 1915, he embarked on a steamer heading for France. Snapcase took part in the fighting on the Western Front, commanding successively three infantry battalions and a brigade. He was wounded seven more times in the war, losing his left hand in 1915 and pulling off his fingers when a doctor declined to remove them. He was shot through the skull and ankle at the Battle of the Somme, through the hip at the Battle of Passchendaele, through the leg at Cambrai and through the ear at Arras.

Snapcase received the Victoria Cross (VC), the highest award for gallantry in combat against the enemy that can be awarded to British Empire forces, in 1916. He was 36 years old and a temporary lieutenant-colonel in the Mobile Bath Unit attached to the Felpersham Peculiars, commanding the Baths Tin (Officers, for the use of) Battalion, when the following events took place on 2/3 July 1916, in the opening days of the Battle of the Somme, at La Boiselle, France, as recorded in the official citation:

 

Capt. (temp. Lt.-Col.) The Honourable Willard Cornelius Waterloo Clarence Snapcase, D.S.O.

For most conspicuous bravery, coolness and determination during severe operations of a prolonged nature. It was owing in a great measure to his dauntless courage and inspiring example that a serious reverse was averted. He displayed the utmost energy and courage in ensuring that officers received the use of his tin baths. Snapcase always believed that the ORs and NCOs should also benefit from his ambulatory ablutions. However, GHQ firmly believed that allowing the men to bathe would soften morale, in much the same way as allowing them tin helmets and parachutes. Thus, it was a nolle prosequi on these matters. He frequently exposed himself in the organisation of bathing the officers and passing the carbolic soap unflinchingly through a fire barrage of the most intense nature. His gallantry was inspiring to all.

— London Gazette, 9 September 1916.

On 27 July 1920, Snapcase was appointed an aide-de-camp to the king, and brevetted to colonel. He was active in Poland in August 1920, when the Red Army was at the gates of Warsaw. While out on his observation train, he was attacked by a group of Red cavalry and fought them off with his revolver from the footplate of his train, at one point falling on the track and re-boarding quickly.

Early in 1925 Snapcase’s father, the 9th Earl died. Snapcase returned to the ancestral home of Snapcase Hall, Much-Piddling to assume the title. Some time was spent removing the bevy of ‘fallen women’ who the 9th Earl believed needed his support and charity at the Hall.

These are the men that  Willard Cornelius Waterloo Clarence Snapcase has chosen to accompany him on this daring adventure.

Diggory Venn

Diggory Venn is the local reddleman. Often to be seen on the Much-Piddling estate of Lord Snapcase, delivering his red ochre to the local sheep farmers, for that vital task of marking the sheep. He started his association with ochre down the ochre mines at Brixham, latterly working in the Barking Yards. He also sold red ochre to the local butchers, who soaked brown bread in it and made sausage rolls with the result, falsely claiming them to be beef sausage rolls. During the Great War, Diggory was conscripted into the Mobile Bath Unit commanded by Lord Snapcase and proved himself to be a very reliable Bather-Corporal (a rank peculiar to the MBU).

Uriah Heep

Uriah was a law clerk working for Blush, Cringe and Flinch of the Inner Temple. He realised that his widowed employer Jebediah Cringe had developed a severe drinking problem and turned it to his advantage. Uriah encouraged Cringe's drinking, tricked him into thinking he had committed financial wrongdoing while drunk, and blackmailed him into making Uriah a partner in his law office.

Uriah then miscalculated when he hired Mr. Micawber as a clerk, assuming Micawber would never risk his own financial security by exposing Uriah's transgressions. Yet Micawber is honest and he confronted Uriah with proof of his frauds. He let Uriah go free only after he had reluctantly agreed to resign his position and return the money that he had stolen.

Uriah was then caught up in the turbulent events of the Great War and found himself in the Mobile Bath Unit, serving under Lord Snapcase.

Noddy Boffin

Nicodemus "Noddy" Boffin was a dustman who worked for the Hamster-Crust family in Loose Chippings. The Dowager Lady Prunesquallor Hamster-Crust died and left him a very large inheritance in terms of money and a substantial house in Much-Piddling. At his wife Henrietty’s urging, he agreed to "go in for fashion", moving into the Much-Piddling house and purchasing all the luxuries money could buy. By mutual consent, Henrietty and Noddy invited Mimsie Slopcorner to live with them in a ménage à trois which shocked the staid residents of Much-Piddling. Life was going beautifully for Noddy until his conscription notice arrived, one fateful day in 1916. Serving as a Second-Doucher in the Mobile Bath Unit, he came to the notice of it’s commander Lord Snapcase, as an able and willing soldier and a dissolute rake, very much after his Lordship’s heart. 

Venice - The Abandoned City

The Back Story

You all know now about Spanish Flu, the Pandemic that devastated the population shortly after the First World War, although I imagine that prior to the Covid Pandemic the recollections of Spanish Flu had drifted into the realms of Urban Myths. If so, it is not surprising that the Venetian Plague that occurred shortly afterwards has dropped from the European consciousness as if it never existed.

Perhaps I need to remind you of the events that led up to this catastrophe. It was the mosquitoes that started it.

The Venetian Lagoon was famous for the size and viciousness of its mosquito population, malaria from these insects wasn’t unknown, although it was rarely fatal.

Well, actually even though the mozzie’s started it, the cats got the blame.

Malaria in cats is quite deadly and when it mutated and crossed into dogs, a species that had previously been immune, the local population started to worry.

Of course the authorities stated that there was “No need for concern”, this new aggressive form of malaria could not jump between animals and humans.

Of course, events were to prove them wrong.

Within weeks hundreds were dead or dying, and panic set in.

Thousands tried to flee the city but the rest of Northern Italy didn’t want the disease to spread and the authorities imposed a lockdown. Venice is a city built on a number on islands and so the options to contain the population leaving by the land bridges was simple enough, but of course the waterways and lagoon were filled with boats.

The Gondoliers and Water Taxi’s made a fortune ferrying people away from the stricken city. The Guarda, Carabinieri, and Army were called in to defend the rest of the country from the selfish Venetian hordes.

Hundreds more were killed attempting to escape certain death, until it was realised that Malaria isn’t contagious. The Italian authorities then established a quarantine exclusion zone, sufficiently far back from the lagoon to prevent the mosquitoes infecting more Italians and things calmed down for a short while.

Of course with such a fast and panicky exodus from the city the citizens had abandoned almost all of their possessions, this was an absolute magnet for thieves, robbers and even Venetians willing to re-enter the city to claim their or someone else’s belongings. Many attempts were made over the next couple of years to enter the city but by this time the mosquitoes had mutated from the small but deadly insect we know into something larger and even more deadly.

All these attempts failed with almost complete loss of life and Venice was declared a death zone and eventually no more attempts were made.

Dougers, Snappers and Vaggers were on holiday, they felt they deserved it, all three had served King and Country in the war, and then in various capacities over the difficult post war years.

Vaggers had served in the 14-18 war, initially as a Tandem Pilot flying Fe2b’s with his Observer, Jack Cowan

There were many tales to tell but on one occasion they’d been shot down and landed just behind the German trenches. This would have been the end of the war for both of them but the Fighting Fifth, the Northumberland Fusiliers had advanced in the morning and over run the trench line opposite their position.

Vaggers had made a perfect three point landing before hitting the mud, the FEE went arse over tip and both crew were pleased to see the ground not so far away. Unfortunately the plane was upside down and they had to release their harness and drop head first into the mud.

As was remarked in the Mess later it was the safest part of their anatomy for them to land on.

Cowan then received the M.M. when the Germans counterattacked, manning a machine gun and inflicting heavy casualties on the enemy. Vaggers received a concussion and a fear of heights, at least when hanging upside down over them.

Cowan spent some time in hospital and Vaggers became a Scout Pilot with a knack for getting lost, Cowan had been the navigator, a skill he didn’t pass on.

Three years later when the war ended Vagabond was a decorated Ace with 18 victories on his slate, a strong aversion to balloons, a propensity for the Poteen that C Flight distilled in one of the outbuildings on the Drome and a hair trigger response for anything or anyone approaching from his six position.

Post war Vaggers had bought a 26 ft sailing boat, originally built of teak in India to a Laurent Giles design she was a most seaworthy boat, capable of looking after a novice sailor in any weather but unfortunately called Gorgonzola by her original Italian owner.

Anyway he bummed around on the water for a while, trying to forget, until he forgot what he was trying to forget, but in the process gained an encyclopaedic knowledge of the tides, currents, anchorages and small harbours of the European coast lines. This brought him to the notice of R.N.I.S. Royal Navy Intelligence Service who realised this knowledge would be of inestimable value should there be another conflict in Europe, and given the conditions of the Treaty of Versailles, this was almost inevitable.

Eventually the lotus eating lifestyle began to pall just about the time he was contacted in the small fishing village of Argeles sur Mer in the French south west by Biff or more formally, Montague Anstruther-Browne. Biff had been Vaggers C.O. during most of the war, after which he left the RAF and followed in his fathers footsteps becoming closely “involved” with S.I.S. and the Mediterranean was his bailiwick.

S.I.S. had close links with the Royal Navy Intelligence Service and in discussions about the “Venetian Affair” Vagabonds name had cropped up as an expendable resource who might be useful in resolving the affair. Biff had been despatched to sound him out and was a little disconcerted to be told that he and his employers were insane, mad as hatters, it couldn’t be done and Vagabond wouldn’t do it.

Anyway I think I mentioned that Dougers, Snappers and Vaggers were on holiday, a fishing holiday appealed to all of them.

Sitting in a comfy chair, in a small boat, as the white wine cooled in the chill water. A line in the river to snare an unsuspecting fish for dinner and while the white chilled the red was at a perfect quaffable room temperature. Unfortunately they chose to fish in the rather warm River Ven which coincidentally flows into the Venice lagoon, the white took so long to chill that the red was taking a real beating.

During their various services to King and Country they’d all developed some rather noxious habits, apart from alcohol consumption I mean. Snappers had a propensity for cigars, Cuban for preference, virgins and thighs were often mentioned but no one was ever really sure why, although it brought a gleam to Snappers eye whenever he talked about them. 

Vaggers had taken up smoking a pipe, meerschaum from South Africa were considered to be the best but he preferred an old briar, God knows why but no one wanted to ask in case he told them.

Dougers had an investment interest in the Brown and Williamson Company and got a substantial discount on Red Man Chewing Tobacco. Most of the discount was lost in shipping fees from North Carolina to England but he considered the brand far superior to British and American Tobacco (BAT) the main brand in Britain at the time. He’d even tried to convert Snappers and Vaggers to chewing tobacco and to humour him they’d tried it that very morning, without any shred of relish and didn’t intend to try again.

The fishing holiday was going well, they hadn’t caught many fish but to be fair that wasn’t the real reason for them being there. Following Biff’s visit, they had a weather eye on Venice, twenty five miles down stream. Vaggers had discussed the proposal with his two chums and they’d all agreed it was insane; however it piqued their interest and made all three of them curious to see if they could solve the puzzle.

The other reason of course was that the local red was superb, well superb might be to overstate it a little, but after the second or sometimes the third bottle they thought it superb, prior to that it was still very drinkable.

However as I think I might have mentioned, Vaggers had developed a propensity for Poteen during the war which might have affected his taste buds somewhat, but there's no such excuse for the other two though.

It was a Tuesday, the red had flowed fast and loose, Dougers and Vaggers had been sampling farm distilled Calvados from Normandy as Snappers sniffed 26 year old Malt from the island of Islay. Well he drank as well as sniffed it, but the result was the same, the alcohol combined with the heat of the day and they’d all drifted off to sleep.

It’s always disconcerting to wake up suddenly and wonder where you are and as one nudged the other they realised they were in the Venetian Lagoon and covered in mosquito bites. “Don’t worry” Vaggers said, “I have a preparation that Nurse Schultz made up for me during the war, it’s immensely effective, takes the stinging away almost immediately”, that’s when he was sick over the side of the boat. Snappers was sweating like a racoon on heat and moaning confusedly about headache.

“Shape up chaps” Dougers responded, “We’ve got some rowing to do to get back up stream”. As it turned out, he had to do all the rowing himself while Vaggers and Snappers shivered and sweated and moaned and groaned in the bottom of the boat.

The local doctor confirmed Venitian Plague and gave Dougers, who was still his normal boisterously healthy self, the name and address of the local undertaker.

Sadly for the undertaker neither of these two died, but instead recovered quite quickly, something that had previously been unheard of. On the third morning when they both appeared for breakfast Dougers announced cryptically, “it’s the Red Man”. “Are you quite alright old boy” Snappers asked, “concerned for his friend’s mental well being.” “Get away with you” Vaggers exclaimed, “He thinks it’s his chewing tobacco that did the trick, making him immune and saving our lives, that’s plain rubbish” he continued.

“Ahh ha, not so, you cynical young Yorkshireman”, Dougers responded, “while you two have been malingering, Spankers and I have been carrying out clinical trials”. “You didn’t get Spankers to chew your disgusting Red Man did you” Snappers asked with some heat in his voice. He was very fond of Ms Spankhurst, who held a post at Snapcase Hall, one that was important but never really clearly explained. “Don’t be daft” responded Dougers, “Spankers persuaded that young chap Luigi to chew it even though he was most reluctant, she can be very persuasive, as you know”.

“How did you get him to go to the lagoon with you”, Vaggers asked, and answered his own question, “yes she can be very persuasive”, his voice tailed off. “Did he live” he asked curiously. “Of course” Dougers replied with some pride, “I’ve always told you Red Man was good for your health, not like your Rough Shag, that foul smelling stuff you put in your pipe, it smells worse than burning camel dung, and I should know” he said with feeling, thinking back to his time in Jhamjharistan where the smell pervaded everything it contacted.

“Well that puts a different light on Biffs proposal”, Vaggers mused, “maybe we can get into the Doges Palace and survive the Venetian Plague after all, what do you think chaps”. With a gleam in his eye Snappers slowly nodded and Dougers smiled a wicked smile, “it’d be a bit of a jape” he said “let’s do it”.

The decision made, the trio mused over the information Biff had imparted, it all seemed quite far fetched but Vaggers knew Biff of old and if he believed it, then so did Vaggers.

They knew they’d need help and Vagabond sent telegrams to Jack Cowan his original Observer who’s already been mentioned. Then to his partner in the Poteen distilling business Ichiro ‘Taki’ Takahashi, the best wingman in C Flight, they’d flown together for a significant portion of the war, well except for the enforced breaks when one or the other had usually been in the care of Nurse Schultz in the field hospital. Taki was one of the sons of the Japanese Ambassador to London, he was the most aggressive pilot Vagabond had ever come across.

Rumours abounded, most other pilots believed that if he couldn’t shoot down the enemy he would ram them and more than one German Scout Pilot had run for home with Taki chasing after him. He usually flew with his beloved Katana in the cockpit as a symbol of good fortune and had used it once when shot down behind enemy lines. Apart from these few quirks though, he was a good solid chap in a fight, that is if you could keep up with him.

Oh I forgot the full suit of Samurai armour his father sent out to the front, he didn’t wear it when flying of course, it remained on a stand in his quarters but when remembering a fallen comrade in the Mess he would often don the armour and drink to insensibility as a tribute to them.

Taki looking for trouble, trouble finds Taki then Taki out of ammunition and still looking to bag the Hun.

Nurse Schultz had been Vagabonds last telegram, she was an enigmatic character, spoke with a hard flat almost Germanic accent, one he couldn’t quite place and she'd some interesting escapades for a nurse.

Teaticket, HQ’s Intelligence Officer had once demanded Vagabond fly a rescue mission, a plane had been shot down and its crew had used a Carrier Pigeon to pass this info onto Teaticket and their recovery was vital. It was only at the end of the conversation that he mentioned she was in the North Sea and hypothermia would get to her fairly quickly. “It’d be best if hypothermia stays clear of the nurse, it won’t like it if she gets angry” was Vagabonds laconic response.

Vagabond had stolen a Float Plane from the RNAS, they wouldn’t lend it to him without orders and so he stole it at gun point.

Finding debris from the crashed plane he’d landed in the North Sea, praying his balsa wood floats would remain on the plane, fortunately they did and he was able to rescue Nurse Schultz from the water.

You might wonder how she managed to stay afloat for so long, quite simply she’d been using her bloomers as water wings but that’s a very long story and you probably don’t want to repeat it.

This was his first landing on water, at least his first intended landing on water and he ran over Nurse Schltz but as the floats went either side of her she survived the rescue attempt.

The good nurse is represented by the small red bead and it was a close call for both of them.

PIC023

On take off the Hun was right on Vagabonds tail but Nurse Schultz woman’s the rear gun and gets off a wicked burst of gunfire into the German plane, unfortunately his return fire is deadly accurate and the Sopwith blows up in mid air. It’s another long story but they both survived and they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

You might be interested to know that one of the floats did come off in the explosion and allowed them to make it to shore with minor injuries, well until they landed and Nurse Schultz vented her feelings after being run over by a Biplane.

Snappers and Dougers have also enlisted aide from men and women they trust in a fight and shortly they will start to arrive in Treviso the staging point for this expedition.

Well you’re probably agog to know what information Biff had passed on to Vaggers about Venice and the mission he and his chums are to undertake, or you’ve probably fallen asleep by now but I’m still going to recount it and you’ll have to re-wind and catch up later.

Briefly the history of Venice has always been troubled, for many centuries the city was ruled by the Doge, a man elected for life. This was not usually a long tenure because the men elected were almost always elderly and so ensured a constant turnover of rulers which is never really a bad thing.

There were various Councils involved in the governing of Venice, elections and lotteries were convoluted but eventually the main Council controlling the affaires of the Serene Republic of Venice boiled down to the Council of Ten and this was the one Vagabond had been briefed on by Biff at their meeting in Argeles.

The Council of Ten, was established in 1310 by Doge Pietro Gradenigo. Originally created as a temporary body to investigate the revolutionary plot of Bajamonte Tiepolo and Marco Querini, the powers of the Council were made permanent in 1455. They stood somewhat apart from the hierarchy of other offices of state but even initially it was immensely powerful. It controlled secret funds, a system of anonymous informers, had police powers, as well as a broad jurisdictional mandate over matters of state security, and eventually became the defacto controlling interest in Venetian Government.

These were the men who ruled until Napoleon disbanded the Venetian State in 1797. However, powerful men and powerful men’s families exert an influence way beyond their numbers and the Council of Ten was no exception. They were no longer elected but continued to exist and exert a powerful, if clandestine influence on Venetian affairs right until the outbreak of the Venetian Plague, when as you know, everyone fled the city.

During the last war Italy had sided with France and Britain but British SIS were increasingly concerned that with the rise of Mussolini, this alliance would change and they knew that the Council of Ten strongly favoured this eventuality. SIS were fairly certain that documents pertaining to the overthrow of the Italian Government in favour of Mussolini were to be found in the Sala delle riunioni del Consiglio dei Dieci, Biffs translation of this was the Meeting Chamber of the Council of Ten. This Chamber was in the Doge’s Palace but it was, unfortunately a secret chamber, the location known only to members of the council.

All was not lost though because there were 4 keys to enter the chamber, a map to provide the location, a key to the outer chamber, one to the inner chamber and one to open the safe containing the documents. As a strong security measure these passed in rotation through the various members of the Council of Ten ensuring that no outsider could know who might hold them at any one time.

You may wonder how SIS knew of these documents because it does seem rather convenient to the plot line for them to have this knowledge.

It is quite simple really; when someone is dying they feel the need to confess their sins. Catholics tend to do this to a Priest, should that Priest have a powerful enough incentive to reveal these secrets to a third party, those secrets tend to reach the ears of the people who provided the incentive in the first place, in this case British SIS.

It has been said that the British Empire was created by mistake, a piece at a time, rather than by design, it’s also been said that they didn’t keep it, by playing nice.

As the Members of the Council of Ten were no more immune to the Venetian Plague that anyone else, this need to confess meant that the information surfaced quickly, especially when it was given a hefty tug by SIS.

So the brief is simple; go to Venice, search the Palazzo’s of the Ten, discover the keys and the map, then go to the Doges Palazzo and retrieve the incriminating documents. Venice has been empty of people for a good few years and so there should be no outside interference, it all sounded so simple when Biff explained it, except for the Plague and now they had an antidote there should be no real problem.

What Biff failed to tell them, was that the Royal Naval Intelligence Service had already sent a team of men into Venice using re-breathing equipment to get them through the canal system but they had not returned. They tried a second time with the same result, after which they looked for an alternative.

Biff didn’t tell Vagabond this for the simple reason he didn’t know. Due to inter service rivalry the RNIS hadn’t imparted this information to SIS, they weren’t known as the Senior Secret Service for nothing, ‘Secrets are for Keeping’ is their motto and they stick to it.

You may have realised that I’ve resorted to using some AI generated pictures to try and illustrate/break up an interminable amount of text and provide a bit of light relief in the story line. I just wanted to share this last one with anyone who looks through this.

I think the chap on the left is in the side car!

OK, I’m off down to glorious Devon on Thursday to meet up and be royally entertained by the Mad Lord Snapcase at his ancestral home in either Much Piddling in the Marsh or Little Piddling in the Marsh. His estates encompass both villages and the dear folk there both claim him as their Lord and Master. We are hoping that Sir Douglas d’Emfore can join on a video link during the three days of my stay, he has confirmed that within his hectic diary is a window of opportunity on Sunday and the three of us will be searching Venice for the secret documents outlined above on that very day.

Various other games are planned, one in Venice where I hope to assassinate Rommel and save Montgomery all the angst of his North Africa Campaign. Plus four others are planned in the desert, Jhamjharistan, North Africa, Outremer and another one that I’ve temporarily forgotten. I’d never realised that desert terrain could be so versatile.

Hopefully someone got to this point, well done you.

Cheers