Pre Aspirant Jean le Vagabond in Who Fired the First Shot

May 2015 solo mission - 'Who fired the first shot.....': By Vagabond

This is a scenario from the Sails of Glory site, one that they used in a campaign run back in 2015. The site has sadly sunk below the waves but has been raised from the sea bed as a section of the Wings of Glory site, but I've decided to repost my stories of Jean le Vagabond on here, Sorry!

These tales are told by that old French Sea Dog Jean le Vagabond to anyone drinking in Martine’s Bar in central Provence some time in the 1830’s. His usual audience is Baptiste and Baptiste’s handsome daughter Hermione, but in general includes anyone who will listen and then fill up his glass with the proverbial 98 Brandy, or indeed anything alcoholic.

I have stolen my style from Arthur Conan-Doyle’s Memories of Brigadier Gerrard a Light Cavalryman in the Napoleons Wars, it is a great read if you like tongue in the cheek humour.

I wasn’t even an Aspirant back then but my Father had managed to get me a passage on the Commerce de Bordeaux, a fine 74 gun ship of the line in the magnificent French Navy. I believe I mentioned some time in the past that he was the Doorman at Madame Fifi’s and seemed to have some influence with the Admiralty and for a reason unknown to me at the time thought that a life at sea would be good for the family.

No Baptiste you don’t have to listen to another of my interminable tales of my life at sea, you can go and sit with the Blacksmith and reminisce on how you spilt his beer. I’m sure that Hermione would be more than happy to chew the lardons with me, we can sit here by the fire on our own but before you go I believe it is your turn to buy the drinks again and I’ll have a 98 brandy, and if you are going to sit with your friends all night you had best make it a double.

Shall I continue Hermione, of course, well as I was saying we were on patrol in the Atlantic and had been shadowing a squadron of Johnny Rosbif’s finest ships. The situation was tense in Europe, war was inevitable again, it was only a question of when and who would start it. Our instructions were clear, we should not start a war by firing first on our smug enemy but we should not let him do the same to us.

They had four ships of the line including one of their 1st rate ships the Royal George, she was a great big lumbering thing and a ship with a male name is an abomination to Neptune the Sea God but we can discuss that some other time.

We were up wind of the Rosbifs but their lead ship started to turn, to cut across our line just as we saw a sail in the far distance.

Will that be a messenger and will it be a glorious French messenger or a dastardly Rosbif one and what would she have to say. Is war declared and are we to be fighting our first battle against the odds? We were not afraid Hermione, don’t think that for a moment, we wanted to bring glory to France but the Rosbifs had a superiority in the number of ships even though we had the superiority in élan.

She drew closer but her sails were obscuring her colours, she had the fine clean lines of a French built ship but there were many of our ships serving in the old enemies fleet, taken by subterfuge and occasionally in a straight fight, but not many of the latter. 

She looks like the Artésien muttered our Premier Lieutenant, I’d recognise the lines of a ship built by Joseph-Louis Olliver, am I not his nephew. I looked at him in awe. The Nephew of Olliver, I’ve served with some great men in my time Hermione, I will tell you of them if we can keep your aged Father from falling asleep, but first I will tell you of this action.

As she drew near we could see she was flying signal flags but we could not discern the signal. Every ship in the 2 small fleets was prepared for action, slow matches burning, shot and charges prepared, marines up in the tops, the Captains cabin squared away, the stern guns rolled out, and the galley stoves doused.

As the ship drew close enough to recognise her I heard various hands confirming what our premier Lieutenant had already said “it’s the Artisan” and just then, before we could make out what signal she was flying, she fired a broadside into HMS Defence the leading British 74.

Every gunner dropped their slow match to the touch hole, no one waited for the command, everyone was at fever pitch and the sound of cannonades blasting out in the still afternoon air shattered the silence.

At the head of our column Artisan and my ship the Commerce de Bordeaux fired into HMS Defence who returned our fire most effectivly. The noise and smoke was unimaiginable, many of our crew were laid low but I could see we had struck Defence below the waterline but beyond her, flames shot up in the air from Artisan.

Further down the line and just to our rear I could see HMS Impeteux taking a severe battering from the Ville de Varsovie our flagship and further in the distance, right at the rear of our line Genereaux was brutally struck by the enemy flagship Royal George.

In response Genereaux turned to larboard with the intention of breaking the British line between Royal George and the last ship in the line HMS Bahama, if this works it could win the battle but she had a long way to go before she would be able to pour a volley from either side into their weak stem and stern’s.

Artisan made a similar move to try and sail behind Impertuex but their steering must have been damaged because she came to close to Impetueux who fired a devastating broadside down the length of Artisan and she dropped her colours, too badly damaged to continue the fight.

The Hulk of Artisan can be seen bottom right but HMS Impetueux didn’t have time to send a prize crew on board, the battle was raging and there would be the opportunity to do that later. She fired a full starboard broadside into the Ville de Varsovie who was reserving her fire, in a bold move she sailed in to get to a closer range before firing her salvo in retaliation and I thought she would then board Imperteux.

At the head of the line, our ship Commerce de Bordeaux and HMS Defence were slugging it out out, toe to toe and we were getting the better of the exchange.

Back at the rear of our column, Genereaux continued to turn to larboard but HMS Bahama was turning to starboard, there was the sound of splintering wood as they collided with each other, but not as big as the explosive broadside from Genereaux blasting Royal George at close range, although the return volley from Georges forward battery started a fire and did some damage to her rudder.

I know that the rules don’t call for collision damage between enemy ships but I’ve included it and used A tokens rather than B because it’s a bow to bow collision and so will cause potentially less damage than bow to beam.

In the distance the Ville de Varsovie fires her close range broadside into Impetueux this causes Impeteuex to pull out of the line to make repairs but in retaliation HMS Royal George poured a withering fire into Ville de Varsovie who strikes her colours.

As Genereaux and Bahama drift apart they fire into each other and the Bahama comes off substantially the worse from the exchange losing her foremast which falls to the deck killing a number of the crew before it topples overboard.

This doesn’t stop her marines from inflicting heavy crew casualties on Genereaux.

And then they fire again causing even more casualties as they break away from each other.

The smoke from the gunfire obscures my view and I can no longer see their valiant fight.

The capitulation of our Flagship allows HMS Impetueux to make repairs but we continue to hammer HMS Defence who finally has had enough and strikes, but with the Royal George foaming through the waves, closing the gap to the battered Commerce de Bordeaux’s our Captain decides discretion is the better part of valour and so with 3 of the French Fleet out of action he decides four is too many and shouts the order to raise full sails and we make our getaway.

It was a sad sight Hermione, our glorious fleet battered into submission but my ship the Commerece de Bordeaux had defeated her opponent, even though we could not put a prize crew on board and sail her home in triumph.

I can tell you Hermione, I have known great glory and victories in my life and as you now know the occasional sour taste of defeat. This was one of the low points for me. Yes I know you are right I was not in command or even on the books of the Commerce de Bordeaux and so no one could ascribe blame to me and as you say, we defeated our opponent HMS Defense but as a man of honour, I share in the sad day for my fellow countrymen and comrades in arms.

We were able to avenge this day and sooner than Johnny Rosbif would have liked but it’s late and I must take my leave.

Your sorry father has fallen asleep over his glass of wine, luckily he has not spilled it, pass me the glass and I will see if this can not warm my poor body enough to tackle the cold and snow outside.

Adieu Hermione, until next time.

Well my poor French fleet took a pounding, but on the bright side my British Fleet won a famous victory.

I realise the chits and ship cards will mean bugger all to most people but to the cognoscenti out there they will be like wine at a feast.

Bon Voyage Mes Amies,

And Cheers to those who don't speak foreign.

East meets West in the Trading Post with no Name

This just a short introduction to some of the characters who will be operating out of the Trading Station that still has no name. If you’ve been following along you will have already come across the Mabel Street Mob and in the last post you may remember Lian Su Smith in protracted discussions with a trio of Chinese chaps and chapesses, they are the leading members of the White Hyacinth Tong. No one is sure what the nature of their business is in SE Asia but it will be a cause of trouble and heartache. Trouble and heartache for the local inhabitants, not for the White Hyacinth, that’s for sure.

Anyway, without further ado I’ll introduce the The White Hyacinth Tong.

The inscrutable Yu Lon Chi the head man of the White Hyacinth Tong based in Ürümqi - capital of Xinjiang Province in North West China, pictured here in the Tianshan Mountains 1926.

Urumqi was ruled by the warlord Yang Zengxin from 1911 to 1928, it was a wild and dangerous place. It grew to prominence due to its position on the Silk Road and every bandit, con man, bully boy, and lowlife was attracted by its easy money and fast living.

The White Hyacinth Tong were the top of the pile, they say scum rises. They were bad men and none badder than Yu, he ran protection and prostitution in the downtown area, and also the cities most influential bank in the uptown area, he had fingers in many pies.

The Tong could easily be recognised by the White Hyacinth embroidered on their clothing. Recognised and then avoided - unless they came up behind you, in which case you were normally washed up on the banks of the Urumqi River or left to rot in some remote corner of the Tianshan Mountains.

This is a photograph of Chang - bodyguard and general enforcer to the inscrutable Yu Lon Chi the head man of the White Hyacinth Tong based in Ürümqi, in North West China taken here in the Tianshan Mountains 1926.

Changs mother died of typhus when he was 6 months old and his father of an equally deadly virus, an unpaid gambling debt to the Rickshaw Drivers Union who ran gambling and racetracks on the north side of town. Rickshaw racing was the hottest sport in Xinjiang Province in the 1920’s.

Chang wandered the streets stealing and fighting until he was spotted by Yu Lon Chi one day when he had just beaten a boy twice his age in a fist fight for a stale loaf of bread.

Chi took him in, fed and clothed him and now Chang reveres Chi as the father figure he never really knew.

Everyone knows that to get to Chi, you have to go through Chang, and no one goes through Chang.

The deadly but beautiful Mai Ling the second most powerful person in the White Hyacinth Tong, pictured here in the Tianshan Mountains 1926.

The triumvirate of Yu Lon Chi, Chang and Mai Ling maintain a grip of iron on the White Hyacinth Tong (note the symbol of the Tong discreetly embroidered on her pantaloons) and through the Tong a stranglehold the on vice and crime in Xinjiang Province, North West China.

The silk road may no longer carry silk but there are darker goods traded along the road in the 1920’s and the White Hyacinth is in the trade up to their necks, with Mai Ling masterminding most of it.

No one knows for sure where Mai Ling came from – she drifted into town and naturally gravitated to the centre of power, rising quickly to the top, leaving a trail of broken men behind her.

The leaders of the White Hyacinth will not be here alone, they have a small army of thugs, murderers and lowlifes at their beck and call. For them to be so far from Ürümqi there must be a very good reason that I expect will come to light some time in the future.

We will just have to be patient.

Sorry for the short and rather lacklustre post but I’m off the Scandinavia tomorrow and wanted to keep up my ridiculously low self imposed target of a post a month and I should get back in time to make June’s post as well.

I will have a host of Viking pictures from various sites but not the ship museum in Oslo because it’s closed until 2027 for renovation, would anyone be interested in seeing that sort of thing. It’s not why I started the blog but over the years Mrs V and I have visited many European sites of interest to a wargamer building his or her own scenery, it could be quite a resource!

Cheers

The Trading Post with No Name

Vagabonds China Station

I’ve long admired the photographs I’ve seen of Bob Murch’s China Station and always wanted to emulate, read steal his idea and place some games with a connected storyline in South East Asia. I envision a setting that is a crossroads between East and West, a mix of Asian, Chinese and Japanese workers, merchants and crooks forming the East. Combine them with Western adventurers, Imperialists, Missionaries and of course crooks it’s an interesting combination of cultures and characters that a fair number on my figures will fit into.

Over the last week or so I’ve been building a trading post and finishing it yesterday I wanted to try and put a bit of flesh on what is still a fairly loose idea. Hopefully anyone who reads this might like to throw in some ideas either of building styles, culture or storylines that I might follow.

This is a picture of one of Bob Murchs games You can see the mix of building styles, oriental obviously but also generic trading warehousing and workshops. The one with the corrugated roof behind the steam launch is the one I’ve taken for my inspiration.

This is another picture of the same game setting. I will set my station on a river in a similar manner; I intend to create a quay/wharf structure as a separate piece or pieces so the building’s that I make will sit on top of that, rather than have their own stilts. I can then also use the buildings in a more standard setting, planted on solid earth rather than over a river.

If you look at this picture you can see that there is no base under the wooden piles front centre and front right and I’m not sure how I can build this so that it is substantial enough to store and wargame with. Does anyone have any ideas how I could get sufficient glued area for that to work, and if I have a number of legs, how I can glue them accurately enough to not wobble in play. I believe the wooden piles under the wharves will only be 10 to 20mm high, I need to check on my boat height to see what’s going to look best but it’ll be fairly short.

I don’t have a name for the place yet, I’ve been seduced by Bobs name ‘China Station’, it conveys everything that I want to include, but of course I can’t pinch his name as well as his ideas. I did think of Little Shanghai because I had thought of using Shanghai as my Oriental setting until I came to my senses thinking about the amount of work building something even remotely like that.

This is just to show the style I went for with the building, a mix of painted wood and printed paper, the sign is just rested there because I’ve not decided who will be the owner or operator of the first warehouse in the trading post with no name.

This is just an atmospheric picture that I liked, it doesn’t add anything to the post, except maybe a little class.

This is a more useful shot to show that side of the building.

And round the back, my idea is that the other side will face the river and this side will be for truck access. The outhouse shows my normal old wood painting style which is why I went for printed paper on this build. My only issue with the paper is that it looks a little clean. I’m sure I read of someone who used tea to distress and age printed paper, any thoughts?

I’m thinking that the trading post will be on a large river that runs down from the Golden Triangle, Opium will flow down and guns and other desirables will flow up, I haven’t got round to looking at the geography to see if this is feasible but maybe I don’t care either.

Lian Su Smith on the right, the head of the Mabel Street Mob from the States is in complex negotiations with members of a Chinese Tong who are intending setting up a river shipping business. The existing river traffic operators are unaware of these plans.

Meanwhile Lian’s second in command Nicole is in similar complex negotiations with Amelia Eckhardt to see if they can fit floats on the Peashooter and cut down on shipping times along the river with no name.

Honey Driver is inspecting the radial engine in the Peashooter and wondering how she might turn putting sugar in its tank to her advantage. It would mean she needs to acquire a plane herself but that wouldn’t be a problem to a resourceful woman…..or would it?

The woman in red is from the British S.I.S. You may have come across Miss Scarlet before and if so just be pleased to be alive. The shifty character in the red fez may even turn out to be the owner of the Trading store with no name, in the trading post with no name. and so for the minute he will remain nameless.

I’m hoping to use a number of my building from other genres and periods, the flat roof workshop is from my Viking village and fits in quite well I think.

Once the goods have arrived from up river they will need to be transhipped by road and this character is wondering how to get into road transport, with no truck and no money. This should be easier than getting into the air transport business……probably.

Ok that’s as far as I’ve got which as you can see isn’t very far, I’d appreciate any thoughts you might have both on construction and storyline, maybe even names for the post/station.

There are rumours of a gangster who died back in the States having interests in these parts but these are only whispered rumours and no one is sure what his interests were and if anyone would inherit them, but even then, finder keepers, is the general rule in my part of the Orient.

Down on the Farm

Zombie RV Game 4

“That damn dogs still with us” exclaimed Sir Marmaduke, looking out of the rear window, “doesn’t he ever tire”.

“Stop the bus and let her in” cried Amelia. “I’ll not have dog hairs and muddy paw prints all over Esmeralda’s upholstery, it’s still in pristine condition, factory fresh don’t you know. It’s bad enough that we picked up that scruffy oik on the road side without having a dirty dog in here as well”.

I was that scruffy oik he was referring to and I suppose he had a point, I’d spent a few days on the road, trying to stay out of trouble but sometimes it just follows you around like a stray dog. I’d been quite happy sailing my 31’ yacht up and down the east coast until the day I pulled into Boston Creek just as it went dark and they came aboard. Three of them, wild eyed, arms flailing, screaming BRAINS, what the hell, they were dripping blood and other matter that I didn’t want to even think about let alone see on my scrubbed pine decks.

“Get the hell off here” I shouted, one tripped on the foresail sheet and fell overboard with a splash but the other two came at a stumbling walk along the side decks. One on either side, well it’s not a big boat they had to do that. I shoved one with the boat hook and his arm fell off. What the hell, so I hit him, a wild scything blow and the hook end of the boat hook stuck in his leg and I pulled. Damn me if his leg didn’t fall off. Strangely with only 1 leg and 1 arm he seemed out of balance and fell overboard. The first one had gone down with only a splash and hadn’t reappeared so I didn’t worry that this one would do any better. It’s not often you see a one armed, one legged person doing the crawl. Well not in the water at least, although I’ve since seen them doing it on land and a damn funny sight it is.

Well until you realise that if you don’t move they will grab you and then eat you….eventually.

The third one made a grab for me and I dodged but caught the hurricane lantern a glancing blow with the back end of the boat hook and smashed the glass cover, oil spilled onto the deck. Burning oil and that was it, Maybelle caught fire, it ran along the deck like a goblin and caught the sails that were still lightly furled. I went over the side like a fish and struck out for the shore, only a few yards away. The last figure burned like a pitch torch, screaming and howling before sliding down onto the deck. Maybelle was an inferno and I took to the road.

Three days later I had my thumb out, waving in the air and got a lift from these people in Esmeralda.

“Let the dog in Marmaduke” said Delores, “Amelia is right, she’s proved her worth these last few days, even pulled your cherries out of the fire on one occasion, I don’t see why”……..

And the sentence was never finished because Amelia who was driving, hit a pothole and there was a loud popping sound at the front right tyre blew.

“No spare I’m afraid” muttered Marmaduke “but this is Jack Snipes place and very coincidentally he refurbishes Esmeralda’s in his spare time. There’ll be tyres in the barn”.

“I wonder if he’s still about the place” and was just about to shout Hello Jack when Delores put her hand over his mouth. “Don’t be such an old fool, They might be here too”.

By ‘They’ she was referring to the creatures who had boarded my boat, bloodthirsty humanoids (a bit like Politicians or Bankers) who try to devour you alive and make you dead, sometimes you even come back after being devoured, alive but dead! Or is that dead but alive?

It’s a bit complex and I don’t fully understand the process but haven’t studied it seriously yet.

Sure enough there was a small group of Things that Amelia kept calling Zombies, I think she read a lot of pulp fiction when she was younger and has associated these things with fanciful creatures from her books. Thank goodness it wasn’t Fairy Tales she read rather than Pulp Fiction or we’d be fighting Giants, Gobblins and Trolls.

Anyway they appear to be attracted to humans, generally as I’ve said to devour them. Their eye sight seems to be pretty good, hearing not so good and their brains seem to have dissolved into some sort of jelly like mush, so they are as stupid as stupid gets.

There was a sweetcorn field behind the bus and we could hear muttering coming from this field as well but couldn’t see anything.

Sweetcorn is what Americans think of as maize although as you can see, I think of it as a fake Christmas tree cut into small pieces.

Because I’m rubbish with descriptions this is a drones eye view of the board. Our mission if we chose to accept it is to remove the spare tyre from the barn which inconveniently is in the top right. The house, garage and far side of the corn field have searchable points where we might find something useful or not. Also there is a small herd of 4 sheep in the top left, I moved them individually during the game but they might have been meant to move as a herd.

Zombies are on the table and the ones in the centre are by a Spawn Point, others will appear here as the game goes on.

This is my 4th go round with these game rules and scenarios but my first solo game. I was tutored in the fine art of Zombie R.V. (Recreational Vehicle) or Zombie M.H. (Motor Home) as is should correctly be called, by the Mad Lord Snapcase during his recent visit and so when you see some of the wild, extravagant manoeuvres carried out in this game, you can blame him for my tactical knowledge and skill. I’m carrying XP, weapons etc from the previous games forward into this one and because I either didn’t take photos or they were rubbish my story starts here even if it’s already started, If you understand.

Line of sight is interrupted by the base of an object so the rock covers a larger area than the lump of rock itself and no one can see through the, above head height corn, which is a boon of the greatest order as will become apparent.

We made our way across to the house, taking cover behind the van on route. I was a little slower than the others because in removing the wheel from the bus the jack had slipped and Marmaduke and I had received injuries, he had the medical kit and used it to recover from his injury but I wasn’t offered similar treatment.

Amelia who is a kind individual had taken to calling me Captain Hawke or Cptn H when quick action was called for. Marmaduke didn’t actually address me as ‘scruffy oik’ he just spoke generally in my direction. Delores hadn’t yet made her mind; I think she was still grieving for Mellors the gamekeeper.

Mellors died in the first game.

Well it would appear that zombies like a bit of lamb, as do I, although I prefer mine cooked, maybe a little bloody in the centre but not raw and on the hoof.

They were having a bit of trouble catching the sheep, but that was ok with us.

We prepare to enter the house. Having survived a few bouts with these flesh eating creatures we are trying to get the greatest advantage possible. Marmaduke on the left has a shotgun, he’s going to break the window and unleash hell into the room.

In the first expedition, The Mad Lord was unlucky (so he says) and Marmaduke’s Gamekeeper Mellors was killed and eaten, losing his rifle and spare ammunition at the same time. Amelia was unarmed in that first outing, well I say unarmed but being a resourceful woman of the best kind she had an old wool sock, which instead of wearing she’d filled with small pebbles and it made a nifty cosh, silent but deadly, especially with the bit of lead pipe she’d found to give it a hard core and a bit more heft.

Anyway, to redeem himself the Mad Lord found a rifle in the 3rd adventure and it was given to Amelia. A lucky event because it transpired that she had been a member of the South London Rifle Club, the only Bisley club which accepted women and Amelia is carrying it for the first time.

At this stage the dog didn’t have a role, it was in reserve.

By the way it’s a she and she’s called Coco. That’s Amelia again, the dog seems to have taken a shine to her, she was found at the same time as they lost the Gamekeeper and because Amelia likes coco before she goes to bed at night the dog was called Coco. Now she cuddles up with the dog and they keep each other warm at night.

I digress, my job was to kick down the door, Delores who was standing immediately behind me together with Amelia would shoot into the open doorway at anything they could see.

Yes….you’re way ahead of me.

Then, I was to step into the room and go hand to teeth with whatever is still standing, in this case 2 zeds.

Well Marmaduke had forgotten to load his gun and it went click when he pulled the trigger, fortunately he has spare cartridges but he’s a slow old stick at the best of times and these ain’t them.

I kicked the door down and stepped into the room and rolled a 2, (high is good) the zombie grinned a malicious grin.

Delores abandoned the plan and climbed through the window firing at the zed, she winged her opponent and it went down writhing but would soon be back on its feet and Amelia fired over my shoulder at the zed at the back. She missed her target deafening me in the process.

Delores ran across the room and kicked the zed in the head, my zombie swung at me and missed and then I stuck my knife in his arm and he fell to the floor.

We are far enough away from the zeds milling outside that they don’t hear us.

Besides they are too busy sheep wrangling.

These zeds had heard the sheep that were outside of the corn field and ran out to find them, one of the sheep had then run into the cornfield and the zeds had followed them back in. It was like a Keystone Cops Film, only not as funny.

Then the sheep ran out again and the zeds followed and it started to get a little tedious.

Zeds continued to spawn!!

Can anyone explain this, I’ve never seen a zombie film and probably never will, so my background knowledge is pretty weak. I asked Dougers and Snappers but the best they could come up with is that it’s a convenient device to rack up the tension and number of zombies without too much trouble. Is there any film logic behind spawn points?

Back in the house it wasn’t going so well, Delores now has Marmaduke helping her kick the zed in the head but it won’t stay still. The one I’m fighting got up and hit me, but it’s only a flesh wound and I just need a count of 6 or 7 and I’ll be back on my feet. 

Hopefully the Ref will count slowly.

Amelia let slip the hound of war and Coco has killed a zed. While all this was going on Amelia also abandoned the plan and searched the house finding some extra shotgun cartridges, which she will give to Marmaduke when he has finished getting blood on and then off his Crockett and Jones brogues.

And finally all the zeds are dead….again.

I looked at Amelia quizzically. She shrugged, “it was big bore, long range shooting I excelled at, I never said I was good at close range snapfiring”. “You might have mentioned that outside” I said ruefully pulling the bandage tighter.

Coco 2, Delores 1 Marmaduke and Cptn H 0. Not our best fight but we’re all alive even though I now have 2 wounds in total.

The circle dancing zeds have eaten a sheep and are singing some sort of victory song as more zeds spawn by the spawn point.

Some are still sheep wrangling, but it’s taking them further away from us.

We have a cunning plan and to that end I hobble back towards the bus. Because I can’t run, the general consensus was that I should have the easy task.

The others moved down the back of the house towards the barn, Delores in the lead, Marmaduke is still shuffling along behind the two women. There’s quite a long distance between the cover of the house and barn. It’s only just possible to sneak there quietly but once there they’re going to have to break in and it’ll generate enough noise to attract some if not all of the zeds, and their numbers are mounting swiftly.

This is the final sheep, it’s surrounded and will be zombie chow fairly soon.

It’s nerve wracking stuff trying to avoid detection but I’m almost there.

That’s when I realised that the corn field was still occupied. A rather nice looking blonde is hiding out in it as well. For our plan to succeed I need to move her away, maybe use the old Cptn H charm and ask her to dinner?

As I draw closer I realize that she might be blonde but she’s not so nice looking. It’s also not going to be possible to ask her out in the way I’d planned.

So I kill her.

Direct action isn’t always the best way to go about things and my move attracts a couple of her mates or minders, I don’t wait to ask which. At this point everyone else will be in place and they need me to perform and knocking heads with zeds isn’t the song I need to perform.

As I said the numbers of zombies is increasing all the time, the rest of the team are in place, you can just see Marmaduke hiding behind the blue barrels waiting to give Delores and Amelia the go ahead to break the window in the back of the barn.

I mentioned before that the zombies are as stupid as stupid gets, as I quietly move away from it, a vicious slice through the air misses me by inches but because I’ve gone out of its sight it forgets that I’ve ever existed. I imagine it’s so full of sheep that it’s no longer driven by hunger to eat me.

OK, the big event next!

I step to the edge of the corn field and show myself. It’s a bit of a bum itchy moment because the plan is that, they will all rush my way and I’ll step back quietly into the cornfield and they’ll all forget I’m there.

Well the first part of the plan has worked perfectly!!!!

I hope they’re all stupid as stupid gets and there isn’t one of them with a working brain cell.

But you’ve realised I’m telling the story in the first person and so I survive at least. Turns out they are stupid, even the fast and nasty ones.

‘Now’ shouts Marmaduke and he breaks the window and fires at the nearest zed…..and misses. Delores fires twice and hits one zed, it’s down, Coco jumps in and kills 2 zeds, so far the dog is playing a blinder.

I played a little fast and loose with the rules here, the dog gets 2 actions, they are move or fight but as she only moved 2” out of her 18” move I let her have 2 fights as well.

This leaves 3 zeds still alive/dead, two of them attack Coco which is a mistake on their part because they fail to hit her.

But she doesn’t fail to bite them, 6 followed by a 6 sees both zeds dead. Delores climbs in and attacks the last zed and doesn’t take it down. Amelia searches the barn and finds a survivor as well as the tyre which doesn’t need searching for.

Sister Monica has been hiding behind the stack of tyres and emerges, her habit flying behind her like an avenging angel, one solid wallop with her staff removes the menace of the last zombie and it goes to heaven.

Possibly.

Sir Marmaduke has moved to the garage, his intention is to climb through the window, search the place and get out of Dodge. The last search token is in the cornfield and it’s suicidal to try and get that. Surprisingly the window is open and he doesn’t have to break in. He finds some more ammunition, always welcome.

The three of them are making their way back carefully to the house. The problem now is that all the Zeds are congregated over by the bus and we need another distraction to pull them away.

The rules have a pleasant section that states if you find a survivor they can join you if your team is down to 3 or less, otherwise you shoot them in the leg and they scream and attract zeds, acting as bait as it were. In Vagabond Manor we eschew that sort of coarse behaviour and Sister Monica understands this. However she volunteered to draw the zombies off and if successful it was agreed she would join us and damn the eyes of the rule writer.

Here is Sister Monica exposing herself to the hoard of zombies that had been hanging about wondering where Cptn H had gone. This had a rather dramatic effect and for this selfless act she will get the VC for bravery in action. Maybe posthumously but she’ll be awarded it come what may.

I didn’t measure the distance and unfortunately one of the horde was a nasty zed and it covered more ground than I expected and is in contact. Next turn Sister M can run and out distance it, but it will get a free hit as she turns, or she can slap it with her staff, hoping to kill it and then run, but she can’t outdistance it if she does that and she will still take the free hit.

We don’t give out VC’s for just any old act of heroism, so she hit it, unfortunately it didn’t die but she was too nifty and it missed with it’s free hit. So now we have the 3:30 flat race at Wincanton, out in the lead is the favourite, Sister Monica by a short head from the nasty zombie followed by the rest of the field, many in close contention. The nasty zombie uses both actions running and so can’t attack.

We go through the same process on the next turn, she misses and runs, but this time he strikes and does bite her on it’s free hit but the plucky girl passes her grit test and runs on.

By this time everyone else is getting close to the bus. I’m not generating zeds anymore because I ran out of them a turn or two ago.

Finally Sister M just runs, the zed missed it’s free attack and that’s it. She picks up her dirty habit and flies like the wind, she needs to get out of sight to stop the pursuit, still some way to go before she will turn the corner of the house but it’s getting closer.

Like the thoroughbred filly she so obviously is, she makes it to the corner and the stupid as stupid zombies halt and mill about.

So the VC will not be posthumously awarded, at least not this adventure.

If there’s anyone who thinks that we should have shot Sister Monica in the leg to make her scream and not invite her to join our happy band of brothers……and sisters afterwards, let them hold their tongues because I’m not listening.

Cheers

Zombie RV is an 8 page rule set and apart from shooting figures in the leg or on one dice roll eating a fellow survivors leg I’m really impressed and I’m not easily impressed with rule sets. It does seem to give a specific style of game and I need to play a few more games because it’s not really a style I would chose but I’ll see how it goes because I might be wrong.

Cheers