Vagabond's Flying Adventures - The Bebe

“Where’s Pilot Officer Vagabond”, the raucous voice of the C.O. woke me from my sleep and I was 100 yds away from his office at the time. Honey said “I think he’s sleeping, over behind the haystack” no need to get excited, that’s James Honey and one of our most fearsome fighter pilots, not a man to cross – especially if it’s a Maltese cross.

“What screamed the C.O. we’ve just had a flight of Huns over the airdrome bombing the s**t out of us and you tell me he slept through it!!!”

There’s times I think that the skipper has seen a bit too much action and he gets a bit overwrought. Basically he’s sound but just now and then there are more raw nerves showing than snowflakes in the artic in wintertime.

I’m Pilot Officer Vagabond R.F.C. and I’m feeling a bit of a veteran out here at the front, if you survive 3 weeks on dawn patrols then you start to feel a bit invincible.

The C.O. was striding towards my haystack, I could hear his footfall and decided laying on my back with sleep in my eyes was not going to improve our relationship so I jumped up and brushed most of the straw off my flying jacket.

“Good afternoon Pilot Officer”, oh no I’m in deep s**t now, he never addresses anyone by their rank unless they are dead, or about to be. “How’s your gunner, the man you refer to colloquially as Dipstick”. “Err I think you might have misheard” I say, thinking at the time my God shut up – you don’t correct the C.O. – not when he’s in full flow. “I believe he’s in the field hospital” he says, “when do you think he might be back in the saddle, but just remind me, when he was wounded in the line of duty what action were you in, I don’t remember”. “Umm – well it wasn’t actually action sir, he stepped on the gardeners rake and it sprang up and hit him in the eye. But he should be out of hospital soon. Was their some mission you wanted us to undertake when he’s out?”

“What do you mean when he’s out!!!” Upps this doesn’t sound good. “No” he says “I’m looking for a volunteer to go and have a look at some bridges the bomber boys say they have destroyed. The Brass would like to make to make sure that they are really blown”. “That sounds like you need a full crew for the Bristol” I stammered, “would you like me to find a gunner”. “No that’s fine” he says, rather slyly I think, “you know you’ve always been saying how you respected the early pilots, the ones flying the older machines – well we have a French Nieuport 11 available, just thought that might be what you were thinking of”.


My God, flying a Bebe, whow yes that would be great, but not over the lines not against current German planes, the thing is a year out of date and a year outclassed. “It doesn’t seem such a good idea I responded weakly”. “Nonsense man” he says, “it’s all fuelled up and ready to go, see the Adjutant for the maps and dispositions and I’ll see you back here for the evening meal. We have some very nice Chateau Lafite to go with the steak – so don’t be late”.
“No sir”.

Well here I am, across the lines, a long way into Hun territory looking for 2 damn bridges that shouldn’t be there. The French Pilots nicknamed the Nieuport 11 the Bebe (with accents that I don't have on this laptop). The Bebe is flying really nicely, very responsive – not fast but I’m starting to enjoy myself when I see 3 black specs in the distance. Well they could be British planes returning from a mission, they could be very big sparrows, flying in formation but really there’s only one thing they can be – Boshe.

The cold lump in the pit of my stomach gets bigger – and colder.

OK – so my mission is fly very close to 2 bridges and get back home with the knowledge that they are either gone – or not. Don’t get shot down and ideally shoot someone else down but it’s not mandatory. Simple really.

Of course the main reason for posting the game is to show off my new mat, made by that well known mat making firm of Vagabond and Vagabond of Bond Street. Yep, Mrs V gave me a hand painting this, I am determined to get her interested in playing with small plastic aeroplanes.

Behind them I can see the river where the bridges shouldn’t be – of course that’s if my navigation is on top form. This will be a first if it is.

OK 3 of them in a line, what was it that Honey said – I remember - try and cut the odds, so I pull to starboard, hoping they will all pile into each other and just fall out of the sky, well I remember it being a good thought at the time.

It seemed to work for 2 of them but the Green Albatros anticipated my move and turned towards me.

You can just see the 2 bridges, one just by the port wing tip of the Blue Albatros and 1 just hidden by the tail of the Red Albatros.

By heck – he’s getting close, I’m not going to make it past him.

So I turn in and attack head on. This is not a good idea, but it’s the only one I had. I have a weak old plane and he doesn’t.
It doesn’t get any better, we both open fire and my single gun jams, he has two guns but fortunately he misses.

His mates belatedly turn and follow him.

I slip past him. A quite close slip, but we didn’t collide. Mid air collisions can be disastrous and the main reason we didn't collide is because I don't have the advanced rules printed out and so am not using them.

For no good reason Blue has turned to port and I could blow him apart (maybe) but of course I’m still un-jamming my guns.

And can’t fire.

I’m following him round, but still beating the guns trying to un-free them. The red Albatros is getting very close, he has stalled and then does a left sideslip, a perfect manoeuvre. Well if you are a Hun that is. He opens fire and bullets phutt through the canvas of my plane.

I need to turn to starboard to get to the bridge but Red damages my rudder and I can’t turn that way but thinking like a rabbit in the head lights, I do the only thing possible and swing to port.

That fooled them, I turn inside Red , Green is miles away and going the wrong way, Blue seems to be a rookie and is also flying the wrong way. This might just work.

I get the damn gun unjammed but of course by now there is no one to shoot. I’m on the way to the 2nd bridge and there’s no one in the way. It’s looking good.

I can see that the bridge is still intact. The bomber boys have failed here.

So I pull a tight turn to starboard.

Good grief these Albatros move fast, Blue would have been all over me but I’m no longer there, I’m headed for the other bridge to see if that’s still there.

Looks like the bridge is half way between me and the Red Albatros.

We both fly cannily, he stalls, I side slip as we counter each other but finally, to avoid stalling and falling out of the sky we have to open the throttle and fly straight at each other. I can’t pay too much attention to the Albatros because if I do I might not see the bridge as I pass, so I stop worrying about getting shot down (maybe) and concentrate on the bridge.

The Blue plane mean time does a sharp turn to starboard, well as sharp as a DIII can go, if he continues like that he will be on my tail. One behind and one in front and me in the middle like the proverbial Nieuport in trouble, but his inexperience shows and he straightens up and flies past my tail. Jolly good show old boy.

Guns blazing Red and I go for the jugular.

My rudder goes slack, damn he’s cut something, I can’t turn to port but that’s sort of OK because I don’t want to. I don’t appear to have done any damage to him. Blast and damnation.

We fly past each other at 200 miles an hour, Phew - that was close, I can see that this bridge is also intact, good grief, can’t these Bomber Boys hit anything. I turn to starboard and home. I’ve got a good position all the Alabatrii are going the wrong way, I think.

Apart from that Green one, he’s coming in straight at me, he’s fast and has a good line to get a shot in before I’m past.

See what I mean. If he turns to starboard I’m dead! He gets off a long shot but does no damage and his guns go silent prematurely. Ha – guns jammed.

I can’t afford to take too much damage my crate is fairly fragile and I can’t stop and fight because there’s too many of them and I’ve achieved my objective and need to get the information back. You can see where this is going – I’m persuading my self to run.

I risk turning into my starboard to try and cut the angle but he jinks left and then right and overshoots me by a mile. I can see over my shoulder Blue and Red in such close formation that you couldn’t get a spanner between them and they are coming after me. I know they can go faster and it’s a long way to my side of the lines, but I’m running free and easy with a bit of space between us.

Formation flying the Hun way, perfect alignment. How does the A.I. do that – amazing. I am as usual playing solo and the solo rules fly the planes, they are still better than I am. :(

However they must have orders to protect the bridges and pull back and let me go.

It was a bit of a hairy ride back, I’d lost so much height in the fight that Archie made a damn pincushion of my poor old kite but we got back safely in the end.
My report to the skipper went better than I thought it would, he didn’t have much time for the Bomber Boys either, expected them to have missed and I sort of got the impression I might have been his most expendable pilot sent on a waste of time mission, but maybe I’m being a bit harsh on myself, and him.

Anyway I took Dipstick a bunch of flowers and a bottle of whiskey a told him that it was imperative he get back to the squadron - now.

I expounded on the virtues of that beautiful, fast Bristol, with all round firepower all those Huns waiting to be shot down but didn’t mention getting lumbered with a slow, out of date plane, with a single gun which at this point in the war was going to get me killed.

Mind you I did enjoy flying it.

My apologies that no one got shot down, there were no flames or anything really exciting, this was the 2nd time I tried the mission and there were flames and someone did get shot down – but it was me, and that can’t be a good story!

I was hoping to post the next part of the Hunt for Mary Scroggins but just not had time to put it together, damn summer, all these outside jobs that I can do now there's no rain to keep me inside enjoying myself.

Well if you're still here - thanks for reading.
Cheers

Biggles and the Big Bristol

“What ho chaps, I’m looking for a couple of volunteer to test drive this new crate we’ve just been sent, and at the same time to get some photos of the big guns the Boshe have located over to the west of Nieuville”. “It’s only about 20 miles over their side of the lines, it’ll be a doddle chaps”. That’s the Skipper, a jolly lively chap, a bit too lively at times.

“Pilot Officer Vagabond you look a likely volunteer, when were you last up on patrol”. “Dawn sir” I responded rather glumly, I don’t do mornings well and it was still only 09:00 hours. “Come on look lively, go find your gunner chappie, the days not getting any younger”. I muttered “breakfast sir, is it possible to have my breakfast before we go”. “No time young man, your country needs you, get them to put some bacon between a couple of bits of bread, you can eat it on the way”.

“Don’t suppose you’ve even seen the new Bristol F2.B” he guffawed, “dashed good plane they tell me, it will win the war and we can all go home for Christmas, but first we need you to get these photo’s. Off you go and let me know how you get on with the bally crate, especially fuel consumption. For some reasons the boffins haven’t sent me many flying characteristics yet. Make sure you take a dip stick with you. Pip pip”, and he left.

My giddy Aunt Gemmima what’s he got me into now.

I went looking for the dip stick, that’s Jack my gunner by the way, we’ve been together for ever, well it must be 2 weeks but it seems like forever. He has this nasty habit of referring to me as the taxi driver. He tells all the girls I’m the driver and he’s the brains doing all the work, mainly recce photography but we have been given bombs to drop as well. I don’t like that so much because generally if our Brass wants us to blow something up, the Huns don’t want us to and they can get very nasty about it.

I explain the situation to him and he’s not as upset about it as I am, two reasons really, firstly he thinks I can fly and all planes are the same to the man who uses it as a platform to take photographs, but more importantly he’s had his breakfast.

Well we got off the ground, a bit too quickly for my liking this lump of canvas and wood is rather faster than what I’m used to, but she’s a nice looking plane and responds well to the controls, fast is good right - get to Nieuville and back in time for lunch. Climbs a lot faster than our current crate, which is more of a canvas coffin if you ask me - but no one does.

We arrived over Nieuville and could see the netting covering the big guns to the north and south of the town, but there was a slight problem. A pair of Albatros DIII from the look of them but it could be the DV, let it be DIII’s I pray, they are not so fast and with my new found speedy steed we might be able to out run them, but first the photographs, we’ve not come all this way for nothing and the skipper won’t like it if we go home empty handed.

Sorry the game photo’s are on a plain board, but I’m so envious of the printed mats that I wanted to try and emulate them, not very well but it’s the thought that counts. These bad boys below landed this morning along with the Bristol so first time out. Mind you it’s only my 4th sortie, I’m flying them using Richard Bradley’s AI system, and am a bit concerned because it’s better than I am.

I’m not used to having a gun firing forward, Jack’s the one who gets all the fun and so our usual tactic would be to try and get him in a position to shoot, that’s a bit theoretical because he’s not a good shot and usually we have a fighter escort that are there to protect us. However they weren’t at the rendezvous today and in view of the cryptic comment about fuel consumption we decided not to hang about. Looks like that might have been a mistake.

Well they came at us in the same old way and I expect they thought we would run in the same old way, but I now have a gun and went straight at them, they weren’t expecting that.

The Red plane turned to starboard S and then to port P and then jinked a bit to S and they closed the gap between them very neatly.

This Richard Bradley knows his stuff.

Here we go, “Tally Ho” I shouted as I flew straight at them.

There is some nonsense in the Mess about never flinching from a head on attack, anyone in their right mind knows this is bound to lead to a collision, but the received wisdom is the Hun will always loose his nerve first.

I believe that we don’t duck left or right because we think they will go the same way and we’ll have a collision, it’s much safer to stay on a straight course and then they know what we are going to do and avoid us.

Oh no the Red plane doesn’t know this.

But at the last minute Red dived under my wing and missed by a hairs breath. We were in spitting distance but of course we are gentlemen – the Knights of the Air. If we’d been those oiks in the trenches we probably would have spat, and thrown stones for good measure.

Too damn close to shoot though.

We all broke to port P and Jack got to fire the twin Lewis guns at Green. He was going to fire at Red but I had yelled over my shoulder don’t shoot the bloody tail off – AGAIN. He doesn’t like me to refer to that incident.

Smoke started to pour out of Greens engine, I’ve hit him, I’ve hit him Jack was shouting. There’s a first time for everything I thought and now was a good time to start shooting straight.

We continued to circle, they were keeping a tight formation, and the smoke stopped. Humm not so good.

About this time I realised they were circling in a tighter circle than us and that Red plane was going to have us in his sights soon.

And that’s when they made their big mistake, they both straightened up but I continued my turn to port. Green is in range and I open fire, it’s glorious having a gun, de, de, de, de it went and I missed. Bugger I’m never going to hear the end of this.

I’m still turning to port and so are the Hun, I fire another blast at Green and miss again, Jack’s never going to let me forget this, but I feel the crate shake as Jack lets rip, but a quick glance over my shoulder and I see he’s missed. Well that’s good and bad - good that it’s not just me missing, but it’s bad that we aren’t dishing out the damage when we have the chance.

We are all still circling to port, I just miss the tail of the Green Albatros and it is a DIII, that’s a bit of a relief but I am going to bring stones next time, they might be more effective than this damn gun. We’re certainly getting close enough to use them…..

 Red continues a long turn to port, and is out of the action for a while.

I continue to turn to port but the idiot in the Green plane swings to Starboard, what the hell is he doing – he’s going to get us all killed if he carries on like this. I pull back on the stick and just scrape over the top of him.

It’s OK to take avoiding action now because this wasn’t head to head, and I’ve ceased caring I just want my lunch.

This is known as a Bristol sandwich on Albatros. One out of range and one out of angle. The Red plane and I continue with our circle of death to port, but I think I’ve got him next phase.

Wrong he is turning tighter than I am and we are both shooting lumps off each other. Of course his lumps are bigger than mine and we take 4 damage and he takes none.

I swing to starboard giving Jack a clear shot at point blank range. He hits doing 4 points of damage, get him Jack I yell, but he can’t hear me above the sound of the twin Lewis guns, and that’s when Red made his big mistake. I swung back to port and he did an Immelmann turn, right in front of Jack.

Of course it wasn’t looking so good for us either, I’d been concentrating so much on Red that I’d given the Green Albatros the opportunity to come straight at us. Jack put a long burst into the Red plane, bits were flying off it, he was causing a lot of damage and.

There was a loud explosion and the Red plane blew up in mid air, it shook me I can tell you, one minute he is there fighting like a good un and then he’s gone.

It must have shook Green because he fired and the bullets went wide causing no damage.

I’m still swinging to port, it’s like being on one of those fairground rides, round and round, but Jack gets another clear shot but his guns are quiet. Looking back I can see him hitting the damn things with his gloved hands, come on lad that’s not the way to do it.

I need to create a bit of space to give him time to get up and running again, so fly straight away from the Hun, a bit of a turn and then straight’ I’m lining up to do an Immelmann of my own, wonder if this machine will take the stress, should do. We’ll soon find out.

We come flying back straight at the Green Albatros, he turns.

But not fast enough and I’m on him, the shots are slightly off and I’m hitting his tail, causing 1 damage and jamming the tail so he can’t turn to starboard, but he’s going to port, so am I.

This gives Jack another clear shot but his deflection shooting is off and he also hits around the tail, he’s caused 2 damage but also jammed the rudder from turning to port. Bloody good shooting Jack.

I swing round and give chase, the Albatros is diving to get as much speed as possible he can’t turn to port or starboard and we’re gaining. We get too low, ground fire is putting holes in the plane and I pull up and let him go. No one chases a wounded fox, where’s the sport in that.

He made it off the board.

The stick felt a bit loose when we landed, quite a few wires were damaged holes all over but nothing too bad, Jack jumped down whooping with joy, relief, who knows, we had our first kill. The Skipper seemed quite buoyed up about it, said maybe we could keep the bus but his face fell when he asked after the recognisance photographs and we dragged the camera out of the plane. It had a neat bullet hole just behind the lens and had been useless.

Better luck next time.