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Saturday, 20 October 2018

Granny and Pops go to Town in Zomtober!

The scenario - You are a small family who live in the Ozark Mountains in Virginia and come from generations of moonshiners, you “only go to town about twice a year” to sell your moonshine to Jack Handsome who runs a bar in Horseman Flatts, his is the only bar for miles around.
You will stock up on food from Molly at the Horseman's Deli where your food will be in crates in the back room,she knows when and what you will collect.
Your other urgent requirement is fuel which you get from Jeramiah Pile, a strange old man. He will have your fuel in drums locked in the barn next to his garage, the keys are usually hung up on a nail in the garage.
Lastly, young love - Daisy May wants to meet up with her boyfriend Tank, he is the watchman working at the container yard and usually sleeps in the watchman’s shed by the gate into the yard.

Your family consists of Pops, Granny and the 3 young uns, your grand children, Betsie May, Ellie May and Daisy May, their parents died in a car crash while being chased by the revenue men and they have lived in the mountains with you ever since, moonshining is in their blood too.

Here is a picture of them taken just before this trip, all happy and smiles, well Pops and Granny don’t smile much, but you know what I mean.

Pops is the head of the family, in name at least, both he and Granny trained in Kung Fu when they were young and still have the knack of it, he isn’t afraid to punch anyone on the nose. He is as brave as a lion where his family are concerned but unfortunately as dumb as a bean.

Granny well “everyone knows she’s the brains behind Pa, she says she’s 68 but you know she’s only 64” she leads and he follows, she is still able to recollect her heydays of  kung fu fighting but is not so brave - as befits an intelligent person.

Betsie May the eldest, is also the leader of the young uns, she takes after Granny with the brains and Pops with the bravery but she can’t shoot or fight for toffee, in fact she doesn't like toffee.

Ellie May, the middle un, on the other hand can fight and shoot but is as chicken as a yellow rooster, unfortunately she's a stubborn rooster.

Daisy May the youngest, coddled by the family all her life she is the liability in every respect but one, as brave as Pops, she will stand up to anyone or anything but does not have the skills to deal with what she has stood up to. The rest of the family, especially Pops are having to bail her out of situations she can't handle.

OK got that - because there will be questions later. These were some of the pre-game notes I handed out err - Pre-game, in one of my few games recently with a live co-opted partner.

Horseman Flatts
You are travelling at night and will arrive in Horseman Flatts at daybreak, before the police are up and about, you have a set date when you come to town and the guys you are going to meet will know you are coming.
However, and there's always an however, you usually take a trip down to the valley on the night before you go to town and make a phone call from the diner on the main road to Jack and confirm everything is OK. This time the diner was empty, looked like it had been abandoned in a bit of a hurry and worse the phone line was dead. Could be that business was bad and they had just moved on but it left you a little uneasy.
You have decided to take some back up, Pops and Ellie have pump action shotguns, Granny a side by side shot gun and a knife in her boot top (she led a wild youth), Betsie a machine pistol and Daisy a big ass sub machine gun, you have licences for these and if locked in the cab of the vehicles the police will be happy enough about this, not happy about the moonshine though.

These are the places you need to visit.

The Hillbillies are arriving in town in a big truck with Granny driving and Daisy May and Ellie May as passengers followed by Betsie who is driving the Red Pickup with Pops riding shotgun, his eyesight is a little suspect and road signs have a way of coming up and surprising him from time to time.

The truck has the hooch onboard and this has to be offloaded at the bar, you need to find Jack Handsome to accept and pay for this. Then you need to collect the food from Horsemans Deli, finding Molly so you can pay for it.

The Pickup has empty fuel barrels, these need exchanging at the garage for full ones, you need to find Jeramiah to pay for them and then you need to find Tank, Daisy May’s boyfriend.

Then have a celebration Pizza at Stinkeys before going home, sounds easy. You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you? Well yes I kinda did. Extra points for naming the film the quote is from, and the two songs that the words in “red” are also from.

Last but not least, you will always help your friends and in spite of the moonshine are quite a law abiding bunch.

Ok this is how the game panned out.

Turn 1 - The Billies make their 1st move, Granny, Ellie and Daisy lead in the big truck, they are aiming to drive round to the bar and drop off the hooch before going on to the Deli for the food. They do not see the strange figure with the shambling gait who wanders out into the middle of the road. Gawd Damn mutters Pops as Betsie who is driving the pickup, slams on the brakes to avoid him/it/what, and they screech to a halt, only feet from him/it/what.

Looks drunk to me says Pops to himself, no one else seems to listen to him much these days.

Turn 2 – Granny speeds on down the road, oblivious to what is happening behind her, she does see a drunk on the sidewalk ahead at the junction, strange at this time of morning but hell it’s good for business if the guys in Horseman Flatts are drinking so much they are still staggering down the road at this time rather than being tucked up in bed.

Betsie is trying to start the pickup after her emergency stop and the wild eyed man is gazing at her through the window, a bit off putting especially as she realizes he seems to have a lot of blood around his left eye, and is right leg and arm seem to be hanging a bit loose, wonder if he has been run over by a previous truck!!, maybe we should get out and help him.

Turn 3 – Granny turns the corner at the end of the road and she and the girls get out of the truck, there are a couple of bikers lounging on the street corner, they exchange hellos.

Things have taken a peculiar turn and 2 other strange drunken men have run (at a slow shamble) out of the terrace of houses and are now banging and tearing at the car, slobbering over the windscreen and trying to get in but they seem to have trouble understanding how the door handle works. Betsie May finally realizes something is seriously wrong here and cowers back in her seat, transfixed.

Granny and Ellie May, exchanging “Hi's" with the bikers.

Betsy May walks over to talk to the drunk by the sidewalk and realizes his head is on one side, his neck is broken so badly that he can't support his head, what the hell is going on he must be dead with that injury but he is walking about.

“WALKING DEAD” !!!!!!!

Turn 4 – Pops gets out of the truck. Umm is this a good move!!! "Hey you he shouts, stop drooling on my truck".
“Brains” is the only thing the creature responds with, so Pops chambers a round and blows the nearest creatures brains out, all over the sidewalk and worse than that, over the hood of the truck, 'damn, there’s going to be trouble he thinks, Granny's going to give me hell for messing up the truck'.

Turn 5 – Granny and Ellie pull the truck around onto the forecourt and enter the bar, Bad news as there's no one home and it has been looted, 'wonder if Joe is OK, if not who is going to pay us for the hooch what do you think' Ellie, 'ummm' says Ellie.

Just out of picture you can see Daisy Mays blonde head, she decides that the dead should be lying down and blows the walking deads head off, it obligingly become the lying down dead.

Daisy Mays dead zed. I need to re-cycle my zombies.

The two remaining zombies, not drunks, rush slowly around the truck and attack Pops, not a good move for them and with his Kung Billie Fu he drops them to the ground with a couple of chops and a neat spin kick, neat for someone of 68. Bugger this for a game of cowboys, come on Betsie lets get a move on he says climbing back in to the truck.

Turn 6 – Things are looking up for Granny’s crew, the 2 bikers have decided to help out and also she has found Jack Handsome, he was hiding in the building next door to the Bar, he still wants the booze and has the cash ready. Another of those zombie creatures is approaching and Harley Davidson goes to deal with it.

Pops and Betsie drive to the garage to get the fuel and Jerahiah is waiting, he gives them the low down on what has been happening, a zombie outbreak, no idea what it is about, some talk about experiments up north that have gone wrong, but the buggers are all over now, quite a few in town, the law seems to be losing the fight and the National Guard have been called out, not seen them round here though he mutters.

They load up the fuel quickly and Jeramiah refuses Pops offer of a lift out of town. 'If I turn my back some thieving son of a gun will take all I have built up over the years. I’ll stick it out here thanks'. This is maybe not his best decision ever.

Still offloading hooch

Still offloading hooch, but there's more movement on the streets, all of it slow and shambling.

Still offloading hooch but Pops and Betsie have got the fuel and are driving round to see if they can find Tank, they stop and shout over to Granny and tell her what Jerry said, 'yes Jack has been filling us in on the details, sounds bad, we have killed a couple of the monsters and there’s more about. We will get the food next and be ready to go as soon as possible', 'Ok' replies Pops and they drive on.

Turn ? lost track but must be about 9 – Granny and the girls have finished off loading the hooch and enter the Deli looking for Molly and the food, it should all be ready and waiting.

Unfortunately Molly is gone, the place is in uproar, they have discovered looters in the process of cleaning out the place, everyone goes for their guns and hells teeth the looters fire first. Granny and Ellie go down out of the fight, bleeding bad. Daisy just stands there, the shock is too great. What was turning out to be an easy day in town has just gone down the pan. The two Bikers, Vincent and Harley shoot two zeds and there is a lot of noise, the situation is going to Devcon 1, or is it Devcon 3 I'm never sure which way it goes but whichever is the one where “the sh*t has hit the fan”

Pops and Betsie park the pickup and head round to Tanks shed. The girl to the left of the picture is Chardonet who has been running around in circles looking for a place to hide for the past few moves.
I forgot to mention her!

This is the situation at the end of turn 9 after zed generation. The looters, Big Dave, Desire and Fat Willy are shown on the roof because this building is solid and the roof does not come off, which is a shame because all the others do. The fight is taking place inside and the Billies are in there too, although they probably regret going in now.

The zeds are on the roof of the other building because I couldn't be bothered to lift it off and put them inside as they would be coming straight back out next turn, - sorry.

An overhead view of the same scene.

Turn 10 – Pops and Betsie find Molly the Deli owner in Tanks shed but Tank is not there. She ran from the looters and has been hiding for a few hours now, wondering what to do and when Pops suggests she join up with them is only too willing to accept his offer.

Turn 13 – sorry lost a bit of time here, things getting tense and forgot to take photos. To catch up Turn 11 the looters shot Daisy who was out of the fight but not dead. The big group of zeds came streaming out of the square building.

Pops Betsie and Molly went in to the big corrugated shed, inside were 2 National Guardsmen making very amorous advances to Wang Mei. She is the grand daughter of the Kung Fu master who taught Pops and Granny so many years ago and is Pops favourite person, who is not a Billie, in the whole world, there’s going to be blood on the floor here.

Turn 12 – Looters thinking about life the world and what they are going to do next (in other words were inactive.) Zeds continued streaming. Pops shot 1 of the guardsmen, but the other returned fire and Pops was down, things are really going down hill fast.

Turn 13 Molly and Betsie run out of the shed one side, the remaining national guardsman runs out the other, Pops lies in a pool of blood and Wang Mei tries to help him but decides he must be dead.

The Zeds are swarming around the Deli.

Over view of swarming zeds, Harley and Vincent by the truck, shooting zeds and thinking it’s gone very quiet in the Deli, I wonder what has happened to the girls and there seems to be a lot of zeds about and we have a truck right here and it would be a shame to loose such a nice truck and maybe we should see how well it drives …. Pops and the dead National Guardsman having a lay down in the corrugated building and just to the north of them is the other guardsman in the corner by the wall and he is thinking, beam me up Scotty.

Turn 15 – I lost 14 but Wang Mei, Molly and Betsie ran from the corrugated building and here in 15 are being attacked by a gang of zeds, Wang Mei kills the road worker in the yellow hat.

Desire, Fat Willy and Big Dave decide that even though they have just shot Granny and the girls they can not leave them to the Zeds and start dragging them back through the Deli, the zeds still have not figured out how to use door handles and remain milling around outside.
There were 2 of us playing this cooperatively against the rules and my mate said, I think the looters might save the girls from the zombies. Fat chance I thought. But as the figures have a characteristic to do exceptionally good or bad things, we rolled some dice and surprisingly they decided to rescue the girls from the zombies.

Harley and Vincent “Black” Lightening jump in the truck and make an escape.

General overview of situation some time around then.

Turn ???? Wang Mei is killing another zed while Molly finds a little girl in a garden shed and Betsie runs in to a house in a desperate bid to find Tank and try and retrieve something from the situation.

Zeds finally break in to the deli but it’s empty, the looters behaving out of character (good dice roll for Granny) carried the 3 Hillbilly women off to safety, blood streaming from gunshot wounds but better than being eaten.

Fades to black as the girls run away from the Zombies and also escape.

Well to sum up, this started off as a complex series of events and tasks and was going very well, 1st 2 tasks completed and then it all went down hill Granny Ellie and Daisy shot down and now dragged off gawd knows where by bad ass looters, the truck stolen by bikers. Pops left for dead, the pickup with the fuel left behind, no food and they did not find Tank. Only Betsie May survived, luckily she has 2 friends Wang Mei and Molly with her plus a dead weight child, who is looking a little grey around the edges.

This my only contribution to Zombtober.

Well if you're still here - thanks for reading


  1. One thing I have learned about zombie apocalypse games is to always expect the unexpected. Well laid plans very rarely pan out and once a zombie horde gathers, well, anything can happen... and it's usually not what you want to happen! So, all in all, just another typical day in a zombie apocalypse.
    That was a very enjoyable batrep, John, and if this is your only contribution to Zomtober 2018 then at least it was a memorable and worthy contribution. All the best, mate!

    1. Thanks Bryan, I had thought I might use Zomtober to try and kick start my none existent figure painting progress but time got the better of me and this was the best I could do.

  2. Everybody was Zombie fighting, those zombie's where very frighten, the story was very exciting as the director did with expert timing, there was little Daisy May & sexy Ellie May, Ellie said here comes two more Zombies, lets cut them down, it was really a neat trick & Pops was kicking from the hip, as everybody was Zombie frighting, those Hill Billies was fast as lighting, in fact it was very frighten but the director did all with expert timing, wow wow wow, wow wow wow

    As your playing guessing games games John guess what song the above was based on ? :) I was thinking about your questions until about turn 5 but then in all the excitement forgot what they were & am to lazy to go all the way back up to the start lol

    Smashing movie mate & like Bryan said above if this is your only contribution to Zomtober it was a memorable one, well done :)

    1. Frank my songs are a little more sophisticated than yours, but not as amusing, he says still chuckling.
      I suppose you're a song writer as well as a script writer, oh to be multi talented.
      Cheers mate and thanks for making me smile :)

    2. Glad you got a laugh from it John, I think my song writing like my script writing are so bad they might be good :)

    3. Excellent is the word you might be looking for and yes you can send the cheque to the usual address. ;)

  3. Another great batrep from your gorgeous table. So much eye candy here!

    1. Cheers Skully that's kind of you to say so, much appreciated

  4. Brilliant yet again John! It's always a fun ride with the May family at the wheel in a zombie apocalypse 😀

  5. Thanks Ivor,there is a sequel to this and the May driving leaves a bit to be desired.

  6. That was some rollercoaster of ups and downs. What started out as a fairly mundane beginning certainly played out to a rather messy scenario with constant action everywhere and it came as no surprise to me that you got lost keeping track and photographing everything!
    Thoroughly enjoyable scenario but I did keep wondering if the ending would have been Granny (or Pops) waking up from a very bad dream!

    1. Waking up from a bad dream would have been a good ending but I never thought of it. With such an ambivalent ending it obviously lead to a follow on game to find out what happened to the missing hillbillies

  7. Awesome! Love the street pictures, atmopsheric and superb, you've got a fantastic terrain and some beautiful vehicles, great report!

  8. I didn't really look to hard at the header, so the zombies took me by surprise.
    Poor gang! What will happen next?

    1. :) I thought it was an appropriate game for that zombie time of year.