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Thursday 31 March 2022

Bandits

 “Skipper bandits at one o'clock, I repeat bandits at one o'clock, same height as us, I repeat same height as us” Crikey that woke me out of my reverie, “Skipper acknowledge please” Good grief why do I always get the pedantic ones.

“Ehh alright I’ve seen them, there’s no need to shout now, tha’ll only deafen me tha nose” “OK we’ll engage head on, you just stay on my starboard wing and it’ll all be OK. That’s my right hand side”

“Wilco Skipper”.... “Pedantic b***tard” I heard him mutter before he remembered to cut the transmission.


We were patrolling 5 miles offshore, 15 miles west of the Isle of Wight and to be honest I was surprised to see any bandits but there they were, 2 black specs in the sky and closing fast. If it hadn’t been for me daydreaming about the pretty little bar maid at the Old Dog and Bone I would have seen then 5 minutes ago, but there was still plenty of time to sort ourselves out before we started to mix it with these Jerry’s.



Today I’m flying with a miserable bugger called Binky, I know he has a proper name but I don’t know what it is. He’s recently joined the Squadron and he has a strange accent so he might come from one of the Colonies or maybe Lancashire who knows and I certainly don’t care. All he has to do is stick like glue to my right hand side and we might make it back home.



As we drew closer I could see the black specs were a pair of Me109’s, fast and nimble and would give us a run for our money, - if we let them.

I could see tracer spit from the one on my right and when I looked over at Binky…. Well…..



There was black smoke putherin from his engine, but the miserable bugger just said “ I think I can get on the one in front of me, is that OK Skipper” over.



“Aye lad that’s fine” I don’t really have much of a Yorkshire accent but I put it on because it does get up the noses of some of the toffee nose fops we get posted here from time to time and so it sort of comes natural like.

Things were going down the pan quickly, the chap who I had my sights on, also had his sights on me, which can be quiet uncomfortable at times.



Binky pulled his plane to the right,

Well actually it’s only because I liked this picture that it’s here, unfortunately it doesn’t enhance the story but by now you’ve probably realized not much is going to do that.



The pair of bandit’s pulled their noses up and were obviously going to do an Immelmann turn and come chasing back on our tails.



For some reason they didn’t and one started to turn to starboard, (that’s right to Binky) but give him his due when I had shouted over the radio “Immelmann” he had responded straight away and we were now behind the two bandits.



Well until one of them also Immeled but his wingman continued to do a slow starboard turn right in front of us.



Binky caught him with a long burst and he started a long and inevitable dive down to a watery grave.



I saw him hit the waves with a big splash of water and he disappeared within seconds.



I might not have taken to Binky but give him his due he was sticking to my right wing like treacle to a spoon. There were clouds of smoke still coming from his engine and I wondered if it was an oil leak, then how long before his engine seized up.

“OK Binky cut for home and I’ll finish this poor fish” No reply.

“Over” I said thinking he was a radio protocol nonse. No reply.

“Binky cut for home now, do you understand” Still no reply.



I got on the tail of the last ME and fired a long burst and his plane just exploded in mid air, no parachute, nothing - then he also hit the sea.

I knew I was low on ammo and so turned for home and Binky followed.

When we landed I strode over to his plane, it was full of holes and demanded “Why didn’t you respond to my radio call telling you to go home”

He looked a little shaken up and his face was as white as a sheet, “I couldn’t reply, I never heard you” and he pointed at the shattered wreckage of his radio, indeed his whole instrument panel. Then I noticed the small red patch on his flying suit and thought. 

“He’ll do”

10 comments:

  1. Excellent Ariel battle John, Binky was lucky to make it back home with damage so early, he might make one of the boys

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    1. He might at that Dave. He might at that.

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  2. That was one helluva read, I thoroughly enjyed it andquite forot that it was a game you were playing out.
    I know the 'scenery' is nothing much to write about, but the water ( Mat ?) looks excellent as does the use of the ;sky boards' fo rthe backdrop and the cloud worked fine too,

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    1. Thanks Joe, yes the sea is a Deepcut mat, I'm very pleased with it. The clouds are some form of stuffing from Hobbycraft, I haven't found a good way to hold it on the table. At the moment it sits on a metal mesh and that is held up with toilet roll cores, it's a bit of a bugger to wipe them out of the photos with photoshop but the sea background makes it easier.
      Cheers

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  3. Another excellent report, had me hunting back for similar to reread and enjoy. Will play with similar cloud effects, thinking same clear plastic glasses I use as plane stands. Photoshop challenges my techno-phobic neo-luddite fat fingered capabilities.

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    1. Cheers Douglas, that's a good idea with the wine glasses, I've seen it done but had forgotten all about it.
      Thanks for the reminder.

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  4. Great stuff John! Some spectacular photos there that really brought your words to life 😀

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    1. Thanks Ivor, I spent quite a bit of time on the photos, so I'm pleased you thought they looked good.

      Cheers

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  5. Wonderful John really digging the specai effect, I know you won't like this, but for me the star of the show was Blinky 🌟🤣 so go do what goes against your grain and buy the lad a few 🍻😂😂

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    1. Thanks Frank, I'm not sure that he's worth a pint yet, he's still got a bit to do before that happens, as you know I come from Yorkshire and tha gets note for free rand err tha nose.

      Take care :)

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